Refamulating
The nuclear family – a heterosexual couple in their first marriage with 2+ kids – is no longer the dominant family structure. In fact, there is no one dominant family structure.
Our show tells real stories of people creating family- whatever that means to them.
Latest Episode
REFAM CHAT: A New Way To Freeze And Donate Your Eggs with Lauren Makler
Years ago, Lauren Makler was diagnosed and treated for a rare abdominal disease. Doctors told her her ovaries might not survive the surgeries she needed, so when she conceived her first child without any assistance, she was shocked. She took that feeling of having a baby despite the odds and turned it into her business,…
Featured Episodes
Season 2 Trailer
October 29, 2024 • Ep. • 4 min 30 sec
We’re back with season 2 of Refamulating! We have more stories of personal and family transformation including being a solo mom by choice, how caregiving impacts families, polyamory and more. Season 2 launches November 12, 2024. _ Subscribe to our Substack for more refamulating! We write about how refamulating looks in our lives, share resources…
Introducing Refamulating!
March 20, 2024 • Ep. • 3 min 56 sec
Refamulating is a new podcast that celebrates different ways to make a family. Episodes 1 and 2 drop April 2. A generation ago, most Americans were guided by the idea of the nuclear family: a mom, a dad, two kids, and a derpy dog. Many still have a family like this, and that’s great! But…
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REFAM CHAT: A New Way To Freeze And Donate Your Eggs with Lauren Makler
Years ago, Lauren Makler was diagnosed and treated for a rare abdominal disease. Doctors told her her ovaries might not survive the surgeries she needed, so when she conceived her first child without any assistance, she was shocked. She took...
August 26, 2025
REFAM CHAT: How We’re Re-examining Wedding Traditions
Julia and Claire are both getting married this year (cute!) and the wedding planning process has opened up new refamulating questions for them: who do we include in the celebration? What traditions are important and what do we want to...
July 29, 2025
REFAM CHAT: How To Find Your People (And Community) with Katherine Goldstein
For a lot of Americans, it’s getting harder and harder to find community. Fewer people are religious, we move around more and with more things online, we spend less time running errands and interacting with people in real life. In...
June 24, 2025
REFAM CHAT: It’s Okay To Put Friendship At The Center Of Your Life (with Rhaina Cohen)
Our culture spends a lot of time talking about the importance of romantic love: finding it, keeping it, and normalizing it as THE most important person in your life. But that completely discounts the deep, meaningful friendships so many of...
May 27, 2025
REFAM CHAT: Cracking ‘The Mother Code’ with author Ruthie Ackerman
When Ruthie Ackerman was in her late 30s, she realized she wanted to have a baby. But there was a problem- she was married to someone who didn’t. So, she got divorced and began a transformative process to motherhood. In...
April 22, 2025
20 I Refriendulating: A celebration of platonic soulmates
To wrap season 2, we honor and celebrate the unsung heroes of our emotional lives—our closest friends. While we celebrate romantic milestones with parties and gifts, our friendships—often life's most enduring relationships—frequently go unhonored. In this episode, Julia shares an...
March 11, 2025
19 I Finding Peace with Parents Who Don’t Fully Accept You with Jedidiah Jenkins
Show Notes: Disagreeing with your family is nothing new. But in the last decade, as politics and culture in the U.S. have become increasingly polarized, so have many of our families. Jedidiah Jenkins felt this kind of division in his...
February 25, 2025
18 I There’s Nothing Wrong With You! You’re Just Single
Almost half of American adults are single, yet we still treat being unpartnered as a problem to solve. But being single is not better or worse than being in a relationship, it’s just a different experience. In this episode, Julia...
February 11, 2025
17 I Caregiving and Family Pt 2: The Realities of Caring For Children with Disabilities
Erica spent her childhood living with a disability and needing a lot of care from her mom. As an adult, she’s now the caretaker to two children with disabilities. In this episode, Erica talks about what she learned from her...
January 28, 2025
16 I Caregiving & Family Pt 1: What It’s Really Like To Receive Long-Term Care When You Have a Disability
In this episode we meet Kathleen Downes- a 31-year-old woman who lives with her parents and dog in New York. Kathleen has cerebral palsy, which means she needs constant care to do daily activities. Kathleen talks about the complicated relationship...
January 21, 2025
15 I Family Preservation in Foster Care: Building a bridge between two families through radical compassion
Aaliyah and Jamyla have three moms - their birth mother Nicole, their foster mom (soon to be adopted mom) Chalice, and Chalice's fiancée Rachel. Chalice and the girls met eight years ago when the girls needed a foster parent. In...
January 7, 2025
REFAM CHAT: Recognizing All Of Our Milestones
Something we’ve realized while working on this project is that the nuclear family has infiltrated so much of our lives. (For example, housing in America is designed for a single, nuclear family.) Another example of that is what we consider...
December 26, 2024
14 I The Single Greatest Choice: Embracing solo motherhood
Katie Bryan grew up in a nuclear family in Texas, and always dreamed her future family would include a doting husband, a beautiful house in the suburbs, and of course, children. She spent almost 20 years searching for the right...
December 10, 2024
REFAM CHAT: The name dilemma
A lot of us refamulating have faced a similar challenge: as we choose a new path or carve out a different role in a family, we realize there is no name for us. A step-parent wants a more warm and...
November 28, 2024
13 I Don’t Tell Mom: Grieving the “living death” of family estrangement
When Emily was a child, a family member abused her and told her to keep it a secret. She kept that secret until she was 34, but her family didn’t react well. Eventually Emily chose to stop talking to them,...
November 26, 2024
12 I Reframing The American Dream (Pt 2): Communal Living Makes a Family
Show Notes: What happens when you expand beyond the nuclear family home? In this episode, we meet people who've chosen to share their daily lives with others in unconventional ways - from two married couples buying a house together to...
November 12, 2024
11 I Reframing The American Dream (Pt 1)
The nuclear family has been held up as the ideal for generations, but it's actually a relatively recent invention. From college dorms to pandemic pods, some of our happiest moments come from living in community with others. So why do...
November 12, 2024
REFAM CHAT: Love is in the air + Sister Wives
Before season 2 officially starts Tuesday, Nov 12, Julia and Claire chat about a few things: Julia is officially a Fairy Godmother and shares an update (the twins are born! she's held them!) Claire is getting married, which has brought...
November 5, 2024
Season 2 Trailer
We're back with season 2 of Refamulating! We have more stories of personal and family transformation including being a solo mom by choice, how caregiving impacts families, polyamory and more. Season 2 launches November 12, 2024. _ Subscribe to our...
October 29, 2024
Curious about non-monogamy? Join us for the October ReFamily Dinner!
Each month we host a live, virtual event called The ReFamily Dinner! It's a way for us to connect with other refamulators outside of the podcast. This month’s ReFamily Dinner will feature a conversation with Heath Schechinger, a psychologist and...
October 14, 2024
10 I Seahorse Dad: Planning for pregnancy as a transgender man
Liam is a transgender man who has spent the last eight years embracing his true life. He changed his name, took hormones, and got top surgery. But recently he had a big realization. He wants to be a father -...
July 2, 2024
09 I Sister Moms: From foster care to chosen family
Show Notes: When Lindsay lost custody of her toddler, Gabriel, an acquaintance named Rachel stepped in as his foster mom. As Lindsay worked toward reunification with her son, she and Rachel developed an unlikely friendship. The journey they've shared has...
June 25, 2024
08 I The Childfree Life Is The Life For Me
For many people, “starting a family” includes having kids. But we know that not everyone wants to be parents, and in this episode we hear from a handful of childfree people to celebrate that choice. Listen to Claire's Terrible, Thanks...
June 18, 2024
07 I Family Secrets Revealed: How a DNA test brought one woman home to herself
A few years ago, Alexis Hourselt took a commercial DNA test. She was hoping the results would help her with some ancestral research about the Mexican side of her family. But the day she got her results became the day...
June 11, 2024
06 I Thicker Than Water: Creating family with a known sperm donor
When Cat and Emily, two women, wanted to have a baby, they knew they would need outside help. They asked their friend David to donate his sperm. They didn't just want his DNA though, they wanted to invite him into...
June 10, 2024