93. Jocelyn

Writer and podcaster Alison Raskin shares how her blossoming adult friendship with her sister is her Okay thing.

You can find Allison Raskin’s work, including her books and Emotional Support Lady Substack on her website.

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

INTRO MUSIC

My name is Alison Raskin, and I think everything is going to be okay 

whenever my older sister pays attention to me. And I know that might sound a little silly, but I think younger siblings out there might be able to relate to this. My sister Jocelyn, is five years older than me, and I have spent my life trying to get her attention.

She came out of the womb with a strong sense of self, incredible social skills, and the eye for fashion that I. Can only hope to aspire to for me. On the other hand, I grew up struggling with O C D, struggling to maintain friendships, to have relationships, to find comfortable enough clothes with my sensory issues.

Despite growing up in the same home, Jocelyn and I have had completely different lives. We’ve never even gone to the same school. And as an adult, I have tried really hard to transition our relationship from. Little sister to friend. I’ve wanted to become someone that she not only loves but actually likes.

And you know what? I think I probably have, but as a lot of you probably know, it can be hard to get past our insecurities. And so I’ve spent the last decade of my life hoping and praying that I will be cool enough for my older sister. And do you know what? I think it finally happened. Maybe I’m not cool enough, but I am getting married in August of this year, and my sister is my maid of honor.

I was her maid of honor at her wedding over 10 years ago, but at the time it felt more like, of course I have to be her maid of honor. That’s how things are done. Not that that was her first choice. And for me, she was definitely my first choice because if there’s something, Jocelyn is good at, it is planning events and getting people excited and you need all of those skills for a wedding.

And you know, I wasn’t sure what the dynamic would be like. I had always hoped that in getting married, my older sister would really get. Excited for Mimi in a way that has been harder with other aspects of my life, just because we live in such different worlds. I mean, she’s excited when I have a new book come out and she’s excited that I have a podcast, but she doesn’t work in the entertainment industry.

It’s not the same for her. It’s not something that she, I think, totally gets or conceptualizes, but a bachelorette party. Oh man. Does Jocelyn understand a bachelorette party? So as soon as I got engaged. All I could think about was, what do I wanna do for my bachelorette? I was so excited to have an entire weekend uninterrupted with just my sister, because she’s a mom to two amazing girls.

But that also means a lot of the time when we’re together, we’re also playing with two amazing girls. But this was an opportunity for the two of us to. Go away without the rest of our family, without any children, and for her to meet all of my friends and to become enmeshed in my world in a way that because we live on opposite sides of the country, we just hadn’t really been able to do before.

I had high expectations about this bachelorette party. Okay. She exceeded them. Josslyn showed up to my bachelorette with a huge box that she had had shipped from New York to Ojai, California, filled with goodie bags for everybody. She had created so many different games for us to play, even though she knows a.

I, even though she doesn’t like to play games, but I love to play games. She got me a sash, she got me a tiara. She got me a hat that said bride. She made this weekend of my life so unbelievably special, and she also made it impossible for me to doubt the love and like that she has for me. And that’s why I know things are gonna be okay because at the age of 33, rapidly about to turn 34.

I finally am cultivating the relationship with my sister that I have always wanted a few days, a few weeks afterwards. You know why I know that? Because a few weeks after the bachelorette party, she had this really intense dental procedure done. And instead of calling my parents, she called me and I was with my parents ’cause they happened to be in California.

And I was talking to her and I was so excited to talk to her that she had called me. And afterwards my mom was like, who was that? And I was like, Jocelyn, everything went well. And she was like, wait, she just called you? And I was like, you better believe it. We’re best friends.

OUTRO MUSIC

CREDITS