59. Friday Best

Producer Claire McInerny has a tradition with her best friends- every Friday, they each record a voice memo telling the group what they did their best at that week. On this episode, we listen to some of them. 

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

THEME MUSIC

I’m Claire McInerny, and It’s Going to be Okay.

Like many people in their 30s, I have a group of close friends who all live in different cities than me. 

And like all friend groups in 2023, me and these three women have a very active group chat. 

On any given day, we are blowing up the thread with conversations like… astrology updates that might explain why all four of us are feeling incredibly anxious that week. 

Or videos of the two puppies Nadia is fostering. 

We send thirst trap photos and outfit pics we would never post on social media but want SOMEONE to see. 

One day, a few months ago, my friend Jess suggested we create a way to actually catch up with each other in this group chat- outside of just hearting funny memes or throwing a “haha” on a tik tok. We wanted a meaningful connection in this digital space, and we decided it should be positive- since all of us did enough complaining in this thread.

That’s how we came up with Friday Best. Every Friday, we send the group a voice memo, outlining what we did our best at that week. Sometimes, it’s a huge win that we want to take the time to properly appreciate. Like gaining a new perspective after a break up… 

NADIA- But it’s like this moment really clicked for me through this conversation where I was like, just because a relationship didn’t work out has nothing to do with your value and who you are as a person. It’s like sometimes, things just don’t work. And it’s like it has nothing to do with the fact that something is wrong with you. It’s just like some people are compatible and some people are not, and it’s like, I don’t know why that’s so hard.But anyway, I, that’s all to say like, Yeah, I just feel really good about where I am. I feel like I’m like myself again. I feel like it’s like we’re on like the, we’re lapping at the shores of loving ourselves and that feels very exciting. And I’m just really grateful that I am starting to have relationships that don’t end in giant fiery car crashes. So that’s the best.

Some days, it’s celebrating all the stuff we have to do to be a human being that is actually really hard work!!

CK- I’m getting my groceries today. I’m running errands right now. I cleaned my apartment. I washed the sheets. I washed all of the towels. Like I did all of that shit this morning, so that I can actually have a weekend and enjoy a weekend.

There are some weeks where we get a Thursday Best, because one of us was eager for the week to end and got their days mixed up, or a Saturday morning Best because that’s just the first moment they’ve had to themselves.

CK-  Hello, hello, hello. Uh, coming in hot and late to this Friday best. I have been in a funk this week. Like, I’m fine. [fade down] I’m not going through like a crisis or anything like that. I’m just like, I just feel really weird and cloudy or something

Every week, at least one of us is congratulating ourselves for just getting through the week without severe collateral damage.

CLAIRE- this week has fucking kicked my ass, just whooped my ass up and down the block. Um, so I really think my best is that I survived it. That’s kind of, it’s kind of where I’m landing. every day has felt like getting on a hamster wheel and sprinting, which is my least favorite way to live.  I guess like I will say my, my best in terms of surviving was there were a couple times I wanted to scream and, uh, I did or I went on a walk and just like raged while I walked through the neighborhood. 

(The week I sent that voice memo I also sent a photo of the cookies I made for my boyfriend as an apology for being a “heinous bitch” to him every time he interacted with me.)

Sometimes a person’s best comes with heaviness. They endured something we wish they didn’t have to…

JESS-  but having a child who is very much connected through the Queer Youth Alliance and just having to pay attention to what is going on to the kids that are like her, is really fucking bumming me out man.  I can only stay in my gratitude that it hasn’t happened to me yet. It hasn’t happened to us yet. I’m mastering my emotions where I don’t dip, dive, and like get depressed   in the same way that I used to, and I don’t. Um, I’m able to manage my impulsivity to a way where it’s not catastrophic to me anymore. so I give myself credit for that, and I’m like, that’s great. You’re like making better decisions for the long term goal.

Some people hate group chats. And I get it- some days I’m overwhelmed when I leave my phone on do not disturb for 2 hours and come back to 112 texts debating whether Harry Styles spit on Chris Pine. 

But when you live far from the people who used to be able to come over after a shitty workday and eat Pad Thai and watch reality shows and laugh with you…a poppin group chat is at least… something. 

It’s hard to maintain long distance friendships, and Friday Best has turned into a hack if you ask me. Every Friday morning, as I get ready for the day, I constantly check my phone to see who is gonna send the first Best. I love receiving these voice memos because they are these moments where the 4 of us pause from sending each other songs or Tik Toks or memes from this week’s Succession episode and have a moment of vulnerability.

It’s also a time I spend reflecting on my week. Asking myself what were my challenges the last 7 days? What should I celebrate? What should I feel proud of?

These are questions I rarely asked myself before we started doing Friday Best. And truthfully, I don’t do a good job of asking myself those questions the other 6 days of the week. Instead, I focus my energy on complaining about the challenges of my week or focusing on the losses. 

But this weekly meditation is starting to make some new neural pathways in my brain. Just last week I was feeling overwhelmed and frustrated, BUT… I stopped myself from snapping at my partner. I heard a little voice saying ‘what will make you feel proud of yourself come friday?’

And that feeling? It’s kind of the best.

THEME MUSIC

NORA OUTRO: 

CREDITS