457. Crusty Soul Energy with Elizabeth Kott

On today’s episode, Nora is joined by Elizabeth Kott to renew your hope in humanity and give you your much-needed dose of OK. If you continue to forget the days of the week (Tuesday shouldn’t exist and we are prepared to cut them out of our calendars), find joy in having and using multiple notebooks while constantly on the quest to find the most PERFECT notebook, and love gossiping about the Summer House reunion (the receipts re: the Amanda and West betrayal is INSANE), you are very much in the right place.

 

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

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All right, Elizabeth Kott is back. Elizabeth Kott is back in a new way. We’ve had you on Thanks For Asking, but this is your first appearance on It’s Going To Be Okay.

So I hope that you are prepared. I hope that you’re nervous. I hope that you’re a little threatened.

I’m equal parts all of those things, and I have notes, so I feel prepared.

Good, I knew you would.

I knew you would. It’s such a weird week. Yesterday, I was at Skyzone, the trampoline park, with a friend whose son is my youngest son’s friend.

It’s how we met, and it’s rare. It’s rare to meet. If your kid likes someone, the likelihood that you will also like the parent, it’s not high.

It’s not very high. This is a real treasure of a woman, and I sat down, I said, I cannot believe it’s only Tuesday, and she said, it’s Wednesday.

So it’s one of those.

I said, well, either way. Well, it’s even more unbelievable to me.

Okay.

Well, and a lot of people are weird. Like I think a little alarmed at just my lack of understanding what day it is, but I honestly have always been like that. I don’t know.

Even when I had a job, I was like, it could be any day.

Why conform to the confines?

Okay. Why? Why bother?

What’s it doing for you? What’s it doing for me? Whether or not it was a Tuesday or Wednesday, my day was the same.

My anxiety level was the same. I just thought, wow, can’t believe it’s Tuesday. It was a Wednesday.

Big deal.

What’s your least favorite day of the week and what’s your favorite?

You know, it really varies. I do like a Thursday.

Over the hump.

I like a Thursday. I’m like a Thursday is almost like I’ve got that, like more of a gasp of like of of energy. Because I know that Friday is near, even though I often work on weekends, there’s something about knowing that it’s Thursday.

Thursday just feels a little bit different. But I, I kind of like every day of the week for its own special reason. You know, what about you?

I think I’m classically loathing a Monday.

Okay, yeah.

And I, I too really enjoy a Thursday.

I just feel like it’s like we’re in the home stretch. The valve has been released.

Yeah.

But I got to go for a classic Friday.

A classic Friday. Yeah. I mean, it’s a good one.

It’s a good one. I just, I really do like something about every single day. The day that is obviously easy for me to forget is Tuesday.

It’s like, I don’t know, like what’s a Tuesday? Mondays, I sometimes don’t enjoy, but then also sometimes I’m like, hey, we’re going to treat this like an on-ramp. We don’t have to hit the ground running.

We can just sort of like merge onto the freeway of life. And then Thursday feels like I’m signaling my exit. I’m signaling.

I’m signaling. Absolutely. And I have an opening.

I can see the opening.

Yeah.

Okay.

That tracks. I feel the exact same way. Yeah.

I think Mondays, if I take it slow, you know, Monday is supposed to be like moon day. Supposed to be a more quiet, inward day. And if you treat it as such, I feel like it’s a more enjoyable experience.

Okay.

I do think that you have a lot to teach me about things like that. Cause I do like the idea of a Monday being just a quieter, slower day. And I have sort of intuitively been practicing that.

Like I’m not trying to hit a Monday super hard.

No.

Like, yeah. We don’t have a team meeting on a Monday. You know, not if I can help it.

Because you’re not trying to torture people.

Yeah.

Yeah. It’s like, well, just we’ll see. We’ll see what happens on a Monday.

A Monday is a we’ll see. A Tuesday is, is this a day? Wednesday is like, okay, we have to lock in.

I’m the we. And then Thursday is like, things are finally clicking. Friday is like, whatever happens, happens.

Yeah.

Saturday is, oh no.

Choose your own adventure.

What did I not do?

Oh.

Yeah.

Saturday. Yeah. And then Sunday kind of too.

It just, it really depends, but I will use a Saturday every once in a while for one. I love to use a Saturday. And I’ll get a million things done.

I think because I feel like subversive, like no one’s going to ask me for anything. So if no one is expecting me to do anything today.

And so therefore, it’s like bonus points with anything that’s done. For me, Tuesday and Wednesdays are my most productive. I like to go hard on a Tuesday, Wednesday.

Then by the time Thursday, I’m coasting. And then Friday, we’re wrapping up. And then so on and so forth.

Monday, again, we’re back on the on-ramp for saying, everyone chill.

Everyone chill. I’m kissing the speed limit. I don’t want, I don’t need, I don’t need any pressure from you to go faster.

I’m going at my own pace. I love that. I love that.

5:45

I have an okay thing that’s really not, you know, I don’t know, maybe it’s more of an update, but I’m going to start, okay? I’m going to be a bad host and I’m going to start us off with what’s okay.

And it is that, okay, when I was in LA and I saw you, I was having the worst reflux, like heartburn, I’d had in years.

Truly, I was like, if I didn’t know better, if I hadn’t already before gone to urgent care and said, I think I’m having a heart attack and been told I had reflux, I would have thought I was having a heart attack. It turns out.

Turns out you’re actually gross. Yeah, it’s just your gross body, like just pushing up acid into your chest. Is that all?

Do you want to leave now in shame? Okay, you thought you were here with a heart attack? No, no, no, no, no, no.

You’re just simply gross. I had to come back, go see a doctor, get an endoscopy. And my fear is always that I have esophageal cancer, like my dad died of.

And I mean, as far as they can tell, I don’t. So that’s good. That’s good.

But slash and, I do have to change my lifestyle. And part of that is I gotta stop drinking caffeine.

Oh, no.

I know, I know, I know, I know.

All forms?

All forms.

I think not even a matcha.

I mean, I want to make exceptions. I had one matcha that I enjoyed, and I was like, even that? But I guess it’s an irritant, and so it can trigger excess acid production, maybe only if you’re just predisposed to that.

But it is like, it’s not good. So I’m on day two.

Okay. I feel like it’s gonna be a rocky two weeks, but then you’re gonna get over the hump, and then you’re gonna be like flying high.

That’s my prediction. That’s what I’m hoping for, but you know how hard it is to find caffeine-free diet coke in the year 2026?

You can find a caffeine-free Coke Zero more easily.

Well, that’s gross. I will…

It’s actually not that bad. My friend Jackie has her fridge stocked with them, and when it’s the only option, it’s the only option.

When it’s the only option, it’s the only option. Carbonation, not great, but I think as long as I’m not chugging a 44-ounce diet coke from Swig or the gas station, I think it’s okay to have like a small carbonated treat.

If it’s, you know, and again, am I going to be the strictest with myself for a minute, and then I’ll give up most likely as soon as I feel better, I’ll say, it’s probably fine now.

Of course.

This has got to be okay. And I’d already cut down my coffee so much that I know that this is the only option because I was only drinking like this tiny little like eight ounce travel mug. When has anyone ever been happy with eight ounces of coffee?

Who wasn’t Italian?

I don’t know that.

You know?

Oh, I’m so sorry. This is devastating.

It’s a devastating blow to my community of me. And I will, I guess, get through this. And I am being the strongest person anyone knows.

I’m inspiring two to three people currently, maybe more. And I don’t know. But I did it.

It’s day two. I’ve had six Advil. I’m very also scared of taking too many painkillers, even if it’s an Advil.

Like, I’m, you know, I’m like, is that too many? Like, Googling, will I die? And I still feel like right behind my eyeballs, there’s like a dagger.

Yeah, you’re detoxing.

Yeah, I’m detoxing.

Wow. Wow. And again, I’ve already cut back.

So, it’s rough.

No, this is tough. This is a massive lifestyle pivot, but I do think it might lead you to the promised land.

I hope so. So, this is also a cry for help. Okay, this is a cry for help from you and from everybody else.

What can I have that will feel like a treat, like give me the same sort of little like, oh, I like having a morning coffee. It’s disruptive to my marriage because Matthew makes coffee in the morning, then he brings it to me in bed.

So this is, you know, it’s a loss for him. It’s a loss for him. And, you know, I was, I just, sometimes I just want to get myself a little treat.

I was very committed to getting, you know, a giant Arnold Palmer. I’ll only be able to get the herbal ones, like the herbal tea ones.

Yeah, you’re going to be that person at the restaurant asking.

Asking, asking.

You’re going to be like, hi, can I ask you a question about the iced tea?

Hi, hi. But I want to know what little treats other people get themselves who can’t have caffeine.

Can you not have lemon?

I mean, it’s not advised, but you know, or it’s like, I can’t be like, you know, eating a lemon every day.

Right. My thought is that you can be brought hot water with lemon in the morning. If lemon is okay, just like a little wedge, that’s really good to get the digestion going.

That will be nice. Okay. And then trying to think like an afternoon, pick me up.

Wow.

Yeah.

I think like an, you’ve got to be batching ice tea, herbal iced tea in a pitcher, in the fridge, that’s like a nice color, like a hibiscus.

Yeah. Yeah.

That’s going to be exciting.

Yeah.

And then at night.

I have my night one.

Okay. A can.

I have my night one. Well, sometimes a can, but also, and this is, now we’re going to get into the okay things right now.

But one, you triggered an idea for me, which is I can’t remember where I was, some fancy coffee shop and they didn’t have a regular Arnold Palmer this before. I was even cutting out caffeine. They had mint tea and lemonade.

That combo was so good. I can definitely make, I have a huge vintage Pyrex pitcher. I can make a ton of mint iced tea, mix it with the only lemonade that I recognize, Country Time.

Of course.

A Country Time powder.

And I guess just enjoy that. I think that’s very doable.

That feels really nice. And also, oh, and then you can get into, ooh, this will be fun. You can get into water concoctions, so you could have the pitcher and do cucumber.

You can do add strawberry. You can start being this person, and that’ll be fun. And you’ll be so hydrated.

Yep.

Yep. This is what we’re talking about, because also I am chronically dehydrated, but now I do have an okay thing. Okay.

I have an okay thing. God, why am I being so clunky right now? Probably because I want to get the name right of this.

Because you haven’t had any caffeine in two days?

Because I haven’t had any caffeine in two days.

So the one thing that I am loving and it is a nice little treat, is have you ever used Clevver blends? No. Okay.

They are, I feel like you would like them. It is, I mean, they have, they do have a matcha. They’ve got, it’s like powdered lattes.

Many of them are caffeine free. The matcha ones do have caffeine. And I haven’t tried those, but Sophie, my daughter, really likes those.

But at night, and there’s already like, you know, oat milk and like coconut cream in them. So you basically just, you know, like blend it with like your little like blender thing, or what is that called? A frother thing.

You froth it up.

A frother whisk, yeah.

You froth or whisk it. And it’s like a nice warm little like cozy beverage. And I take the sleep one sometimes.

It’s like the sleep time super latte, it kind of tastes a little cocoa-y, but sweet, which I really, really like. The golden one is good.

I could probably take that one at night too, or I could have that one in the morning, but they’re very cozy and good. And then they’ve got like a magnesium, like a cold magnesium drink that I also like at night to just sort of like get me on my way.

But those have been good. I just really, I like the cold one at night, but I really, really like something warm in the morning. It could be 115 degrees in Phoenix, Arizona.

I’m ordering a hot latte.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah. Cause who doesn’t want warmth and comfort?

Yeah. I want warmth and comfort. I want warmth and comfort.

So I am getting some warmth and comfort from those, but I don’t know.

No, this is, this is your, this is a journey. This is going to be.

I got to build a whole new, like, routine.

A whole new experience, yeah.

Whole new routine, whole new experience.

An opportunity. It’s an opportunity. Some might say.

It’s an opportunity.

It’s an opportunity just to have less acid burning through my chest and hopefully not my esophagus.

Right. That’s it. Well, at least it was, at least it’s something that we can work through.

Go ahead.

I mean, yes.

Okay.

This is, I’m so sorry for everybody. It was like, when are you going to talk about an okay thing? I sort of did, but also I think I just needed to gab.

No, but.

I just really needed to gab.

It’s okay to learn what you need to do to make yourself feel better.

There you go.

Wow. Like you’re good. Okay.

You’re really good at this.

Thank you. Thank you. All right.

What’s going on with you?

You got to share. Now you got to share something.

16:40

Oh, I have something good?

Wow.

You got to give me an okay thing now.

An okay thing. Here’s something that I want to talk about.

Okay.

And that is the delight of having flowers around. And this is a multi-tiered good thing. Okay.

I made the decision a few months ago. Two months ago, I was like, I am going to cultivate a little garden in my backyard. Wow.

And I’ve been almost approaching it, like this metaphor. I’m going to tend to nurture these plants and watch them thrive and grow, and almost as these things blossom, I too will blossom. So I have that, and that’s been really lovely.

A lot of native California plants and succulents, and mainly they’re little things that I’ve picked and that were around my property and then replanted.

So it’s been a lot of that, and then picking up little tinies from the nursery or the flower mart or something like that. But then, and then the second part of that is obviously flowers in the house, which is my little delight.

I love to spend a little bit of money each week on that. But if I don’t make it to the store, I don’t like the selection or if I’m feeling thrifty, I like to go on a little neighborhood walk. Oh, I love that.

And I pick flowers.

Yeah.

But probably I shouldn’t.

I don’t know. There’s a lot of lushness in your neighborhood and a lot of it feels kind of up for grabs, down for keeps. You know what I mean?

Thank you.

It’s flourishing and neglected at the same time.

Yeah.

This branch feels a little, it’s almost like kissing the pavement. I should be able to just pick it. Yeah.

Yes.

And I do think we should be propagating from what is around us already. And I think there has been controversy in our neighborhood over people stealing cactus.

I wouldn’t ever go that far.

I wouldn’t go that far. But also, I mean, if I have a huge overgrown cactus and you break off a chunk of it, I don’t care. And I will say, I will confess here, because I believe the statute of limitations is up.

At our little, there’s like a little neighborhood, basically like a strip mall. And there is a restaurant that’s just been, one of those restaurant spaces that’s just constantly empty, like opens, closes, opens, closes.

They had planted some cactus, cacti, I believe might be the plural, but no one says that. I think people say cactus as the plural too. They had planted some, they moved out.

Nobody was taking care of them. One had been knocked over, was fully uprooted. And I just went, I’ll take you home.

That’s up for grabs.

It was up for grabs.

If there’s a visible root, that’s just common law.

Several days of visible root, okay?

6 a.m. yoga, no witnesses. And I said, you’re coming home with me.

And now he is huge. He’s like a big, hearty boy in our backyard. I love that.

I love growing things. And I always want to, and then I don’t really.

It’s been nice to set a tiny goal.

Yeah.

An intention.

Yeah.

Meeting it, showing up for it by way of watering every day.

A tiny goal.

Watching it. And just feeling a sense of pride and a little accomplishment.

I love that. Well, I am kind of on a similar wavelength to you right now because our youngest is very, he’s very industrious. You know, he’s got a lot of dreams.

He’s got a lot of goals. And when he has one, he wants to do it now. And he wants to do every part of it now.

And he really, really wants a garden. And we moved some little planters out, you know, to our backyard. We haven’t done anything with them.

And he’s just very, he’s very eager. And I was like, why don’t we start with, like, the easiest thing that we can do? I was cooking.

Very weird for me. A lot of weird stuff is happening in my home. I had like, you know, green onions and, you know, they like have the little roots at the bottom.

I’m sure you knew this, right? If you just plant those, Oh yeah. They’ll grow you new green onions.

So I had an empty little pot. I put them in there. We water it.

We look at them. And then I had a, like a celery bunch. You can do that same thing.

And you can do it-

In like water.

With garlic cloves as well.

You can just plant a garlic clove. Try it.

Just one of the little bits of it? Or the full bulb?

Not the full bulb, just one clove. I think peel it, if I remember correctly. And just put it-

Because I’ve had one sprout.

Yeah, who hasn’t?

And then you just plant it under the soil and it will do its thing.

This is our next thing. That’s great.

Yeah.

That’s amazing. Okay, so we’re gonna have a little kitchen garden in our kitchen, and today we’re gonna do garlic. That’s great.

Wow. You have flowers, I have vegetables. And between the two of us, we basically have a Trader Joe’s.

Yeah.

I also really have dreams of planting like a fig tree in our yard.

We have a lot of fig trees in our neighborhood.

Cool.

Nobody that I know well enough anymore to say like, mind if we get in on those? Like you could have a pomegranate tree, you know? I think you can do those as like…

I have a pomegranate tree in front of my house.

It’s the most gorgeous tree.

God.

Really beautiful flowering moment with it, like these beautiful orange flowers. But I live in Los Angeles by a freeway, and I don’t trust the soil, so I wouldn’t eat. I’ve never eaten one of the pomegranates.

Yeah.

You know what? You’re making some good points. But you could do a potted one.

I could.

You could do a potted one.

Yeah.

I would trust that for sure.

Yeah. That’s a longer term goal. I love to look at my yard and say, wow, look at what I could do back here.

But I think we’re happy with that celery, green onions, and now garlic. That’s big.

That’s huge.

That’s very big. That’s very big.

23:41

I read something that was very encouraging and very soothing to me. I really try to stay. It’s hard to tell sometimes, but I do try to stay.

I try to see things like positively, right? I try to see like the good and situations.

But also, if you get on the wrong side of TikTok, if you see the wrong thing on the Internet, you’re like, wow, we have ruined the world and we have ruined future generations, and they are suffering and it is all our fault.

It’s our fault that they have no attention span and have been raised on iPads and now they’re all riding e-bikes dangerously through our cities and getting in horrific accidents. Every once in a while, the Minnesota does-

The Michigan comes out the Midwest. I am the same. I am the same.

The vowel says, I gotta get out of this mouth sideways.

It says, don’t you forget who you are.

Who do you even think?

Who do you even think? And then when I say every once in a while, the Minnesota comes out, someone comments and goes, it’s always there. Now we know.

One thing I don’t say, Elizabeth, that a lot of people in Minnesota say is, I don’t say bag.

Like a bag?

A bag.

Instead of a bag?

Yes.

Yeah.

I never said bag. I never have said bag. I never will say bag.

I’ve always said bag. I always knew how to pronounce bag.

Sometimes I’ll say mom.

Oh, yeah.

That’ll happen, unfortunately.

Mom. Mom. Yeah.

When the plane touches down, I’m like, mom.

Exactly.

Yeah. Dad. Dad.

Dad. Yeah. It’s tough.

My first boss told me that I sounded like Sarah Palin when I was fresh off the boat from Michigan to Los Angeles.

That’s not even geographically sound.

That’s just stuck with me in a way that has made me strive for a non-regional dialect ever since.

Yeah.

That’s rough.

Yeah. It’s a hard one.

What was the tone when she said that to you?

It was a male, which actually makes it more offensive. And he just was like, you sound like Sarah Palin.

Was this a straight man who found her attractive? No.

I think it was really just based off of tonality.

Because I will say that there was a faction of straight men who were like, they really had the hots for Sarah Palin.

They did.

They did. That’s a dark part of our history and they’ll all deny it. They’ll all say, I don’t think that’s…

Yeah, you did. Yes, you did.

Wow. Where is she? What’s she up to?

I don’t know, but I have to feel like it’s like reality TV adjacent on a network no one’s heard of.

Right.

Now, she’s on a billboard somewhere promoting some thing and…

She’s doing appearances at gun shows.

Yes. Keynote.

She’s keynoting prepper conferences and not the ones that are practical, but the ones that are like when the Lizard People come, Sarah Palin will tell you exactly how to fight them because she was in Washington and she knows the secret of the Lizard

People. That’s, I believe, what she is probably up to.

Yeah. And like probably had, I would imagine, like a good little like nip tuck.

Oh, I’d hope.

Couldn’t you see that?

I’d hope that for her. Yeah. Yeah.

I feel like she probably has a nip, a tuck and an overfill.

You got to.

Happening.

You got to.

I do. I do. That’s what I think.

That’s what I think. But back to the good news before I lost track. I read this headline, and it says, The kids are all right.

Surprising studies show young people are doing better than previous generations in many ways. Then I actually read the article, okay? I actually did.

And I’m gonna say a bunch of good things that are happening for these younger generations, which is, they are more empathetic, they are less narcissistic, drug use is down, youth violence has dropped, teen pregnancies have declined, IQs have gone up,

kids exhibit more self-restraint and patience than they did 50 years ago. Okay, that’s wild to me. And what else? They’re also very interested in helping others.

And I think that’s, those are all good things that made me feel good. It made me feel less like, oh God, oh God. Bullying is down, okay?

Bullying is down, which is crazy because it’s easier than ever to bully.

To bully now is at our fingertips.

Yeah.

Anyone can bully.

Right? Is it wild?

Well, the dopamine receptors are so dulled that nobody finds the, no one craves drinking or sex or drugs as much.

Might be true.

Right?

Might be true. Yeah, might be true. That might be true.

Nobody’s so just zombied out from the scroll.

They’re like, I could scroll. I could scroll. It’s like, I don’t need to fuck.

I don’t need that.

I’m not curious.

No, I don’t need any heavy petting.

I could just be on TikTok for five hours. Okay? All right.

Okay. But if that keeps you from getting pregnant or shooting someone, I say, great. I’m all for it.

Keep scrolling, baby. Keep scrolling.

Yeah.

Okay?

Give you a higher IQ? That is interesting. I have some questions about some of those things, but I feel as if-

Don’t ask me.

Right.

Not willing to interrogate it further.

Yeah.

But based off of how many people were in this sample study, how are they gauging this would just be my-

Yeah. I can’t tell you those things, so just shut up.

Just kidding. I don’t care.

Yeah. I don’t know, but they did it. Okay.

They did it. They did it. They figured it out.

And yeah, some things are still bad, and also not everything is doomed. And that is a good thing to remember because I have a lot of recency bias. So if I have a good day, the world is okay.

And then once I have a bad one or I read something bad, I’m like, everything is really bad and will never be good again. It’s really healthy.

You’re just experiencing. You’re experiencing.

We’re experiencing. I’m experiencing. I learned through experience.

Okay. I’m just a very new soul. I’ve got a lot to learn.

See, I don’t catch that from you.

I don’t get new soul energy. No. Oh, God.

Like I’m a crusty old salt.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, definitely get more like crusty soul energy from you. Don’t worry.

Yeah. Used up old soul. How old is your soul is a great Buzzfeed quiz from 2010.

Totally.

Based off of how you respond to Gilmore Girls.

That’s it.

That is it.

When you start to see the villainy of Gilmore Girls differently than your first watch, that’s when you know your soul has leveled up.

Exactly. It’s like, are you a Rory? Are you a Paris?

These are all the different questions.

These are all the different things. Sorry, I have to open this and take a bite before I die.

That’s fine. I’m going to apologize for my diet Coke set.

Oh, I want you to enjoy it.

It’s not that good.

It’s flat.

It’s flat. It’s disgusting.

It’s a mini.

You wouldn’t like it.

The mini cans.

Best invention. Can that be a good thing? And I think the fact that more and more beverages are catching on to the mini is a sign that we’re going to be okay.

The kids are all right.

The kids are all right. They’re drinking mini sodas. I love having them in our fridge.

A little Sprite, a little mini Sprite. You know, it’s not blast ourselves with sugar. You don’t need 12 ounces.

You certainly don’t need 20. When mom has a 44 ounce soda from the gas station, that’s a different story.

Right.

She’s an adult.

You’re an old soul.

It’s different. I’m an old soul. But I love mini cans.

My first reaction to them was negative. I said, this is shrinkflation.

Oh, yeah. Well, it’s, yeah, it is. It is.

But, okay, the other thing that Midwesterners love to talk about besides foods, shrinkflation, whether or not something is a good value, which mini cans sometimes are a good value based on the sale price and whether or not your retailer is doing like

By three get one.

By four get one. Are you, do you, do you subscribe to those deals? I, yes.

Oh, see. Well, you also have like a family to feed.

Yeah, but sometimes I’ll just be like, well, yeah, you know, I didn’t want this at all, but if I get three of them.

Right. See, I am like, absolutely not. We’re at a deficit of square footage.

Like, no. And my husband is like, we should just get six. Yeah.

That is the only relationship dynamic I’ve ever witnessed.

There can’t be two Elisabeths. There can’t be two Norahs. But, you know, my husband is you, he is the Elizabeth, and an Elizabeth and a Matthew somehow can’t make it work.

No.

Okay?

They just can’t make it work, even though the aesthetic would work, that the values would work. The logic would work. Both of you said, no.

No, I want to live with like an element of unpredictable chaos.

Yeah, I want to buy to and pay more than it would cost to buy.

To not get any. Yes.

Just out of principle.

Out of principle. I only need one. Okay?

We actually don’t ever drink this. It’s simply for one drink that we’re making for a party. And I’ll say, we gotta have a…

What if we make another one?

We gotta do it.

We gotta do it. Get on. Come on.

Come on. It’s just like… And also the satisfaction of seeing the deal ring up.

Yeah.

That’s a big one.

That’s a part of it.

I’m not immune to that.

No. No. No.

What am I on? So Midwesterners, we love a deal. We also love weather.

I love weather. I love talking about the weather. I sincerely mean it when I’m like, okay, but what’s the weather?

I keep the cities that, the cities where people I love live, they’re in my phone. I’m checking the weather every day. I want to know what’s happening in your habitat.

What weather are you tracking in your phone currently?

What cities? Oh God.

I’m tracking Flagstaff. I’m tracking Los Angeles. I’m tracking Sunnyvale, California.

I’m tracking Minneapolis, Minnesota. I’m tracking Brooklyn, New York. I’m tracking La Crosse, Wisconsin.

And there’s another one. It’s at the tip of my tongue. It’ll come to me.

But yeah, that every day, I gotta wake up, I gotta check in and check the weather and just be able to imagine what people are doing.

You gotta keep eyes on your stories.

You’ve gotta keep, I gotta keep eyes on everything I possibly can, but I have some big weather-related news to share with you that’s truly so exciting, even though it’s theoretical because it’s a prediction.

I also was a kid who checked the weather in the newspaper every day. I loved it. I was like, what is the forecast?

I gotta know.

What is it? I gotta know.

I gotta know what’s going to happen. I can’t believe they can even do this. It’s wild to me.

Meteorology is crazy, but they’re predicting, Elizabeth Kott, that this monsoon season, which is like July, August, it’s I think it’s also supposed to be June, but it hasn’t been since we moved to Phoenix, people are like, oh man, you’ll love monsoon

season. It rains and it has not really materialized. We’re in a water crisis and they are predicting that there’s an El Nino going on. I don’t know where it is, but we’re getting the effects and the effects will be lots of rain here.

To bring it back to the garden.

To bring it back to the garden, to bring it back to everything.

It’s going to rain.

All things. All things. When’s the kickoff date for that?

Any day now.

Do we know? Any day now.

It could. Shall rain.

Any day now, the skies are going to open up and it is going to rain. And then in the mountains, they’re predicting a lot of snow this winter. So yes, the Colorado River is running dry, but what if they’re going to refill it?

What if it’s happening? What if it’s already happening? What if it’s already happening?

Optimism.

Optimism.

Every day I say to people, well, you know, we’re about to have a really big monsoon season. And they say, where did you hear that? And I say, I got a news alert from the Arizona Republic.

And I am choosing to believe it. And I clicked through and there was a chart that I couldn’t understand. And the key takeaway was monsoon.

Monsoons are coming. Rainy monsoon season. What a thrill.

I too crave weather, differentiations in weather, having grown up, as we said, in the Midwest and Michigan.

And I’ve been in Los Angeles for 19 years. And it was just maybe about two years ago that I started being really sad that I didn’t have seasonal changes as much. I mean, we do have them in LA.

Like, it’s in its own program. But I love fall. I love rain.

I too love to check in and see what the weather is going to be. And so I feel you. I’ll do a rain dance for you.

Thank you.

I just really want to… I just want to sit inside, have our driveway flood, okay?

God willing.

Have Matthew freak out because we got this dumb little pump that doesn’t really do anything, you know? I just am excited for it.

Maybe a roof leak if you’re lucky.

There’s a lot of holes up there, turns out. A lot of holes, a lot of holes. Somebody stopped by the house, a man rang the doorbell, I opened and he goes, hey, you know, I’m from a roofing company and we’re doing a job.

I think that’s just something they say. We’re doing a job up the street. I was like, who?

Like where, what? He’s like, even from the street, it’s pretty visible that you have a really bad roof. I was like, okay.

Negging me right away about my roof is a great strategy. Get up there and fix it. I’ll pay anything.

Right now.

Here’s my card. Yeah.

Your roof looks really bad even from the street. Okay.

Did you say, all right, I’ll talk to you later?

I said, give me your card and I will call you. But I was like, I don’t know what it, what it, okay, sure. I believe you.

I’m not going up there. Like, I believe you. I believe you.

Matthew did feel like he could fix it.

He’s so afraid of heights.

He stepped onto the ladder, like three rungs up, like shaken, like his little knees shaken. I was like, okay, please get to it.

Yeah. Maybe this is a- We outsourced.

He’s like, just hold the ladder, I’ll be fine.

I was like, I don’t want to do this.

No.

I don’t want to see you climb a ladder. Okay? I don’t.

Not a good thing.

Not a good thing.

I don’t want to see a man climb a ladder unless he’s extremely confident. And even then, just tell me about it later.

Yeah. Not a spectator sport.

It’s not. It’s really not. Have you ever seen your husband get on a ladder?

No. No.

Okay. And I- I get on the ladder.

Oh, yes.

Same.

I’m like, come on, I’ll do it.

It’s like, come on, get out of here.

Get out of here.

Yeah.

Okay.

I’ll get on the ladder, dude. I’ll get on the ladder. Oh God.

Oh. So yeah, it’s going to be raining. It’s going to be raining, Elizabeth Kott.

42:35

Okay.

So I have to say, another good thing that I thought to share is I have a journal notebooking practice, as you know. And along with that comes like a deep love and curiosity for like the perfect notebook.

And when you were over the other week, you saw my setup and you were like, tell me everything. So I thought I would tell your sweet audience.

The quest for the perfect notebook, I think is the most sacred journey a woman can go on. When a man can go on it, but it won’t be the same.

No, but I was influenced by a man. And that’s okay. In my selection.

And it’s because my dad is a, my dad’s a pen collector.

Okay.

Which is, has some other side niche hobbies, including ink and paper. So part of the pen collection experience is like what’s the right paper for said pen to write on.

Oh my God. How is your dad not on your podcast giving I know, it needs to happen. A full breakdown, because I would love to be a pen collector.

Yeah.

Right. No, it’s a whole thing. There’s trade shows, there’s pen bloggers, there’s like influencers in the space.

Why aren’t we going to these trade shows?

We got to go to new trade shows. I want to go to new conferences for things that I’m unfamiliar with. I’ve got two fountain pens.

And I said, I am my father at this point.

Yeah. Just by mere acquisition alone, you don’t even have to use them.

I have a really hard time writing with them.

I have no idea how to write with them. I’m going to get an inky finger. Yes.

That’s a guarantee. Yeah.

Full. I’m fascinated by your dad now, but he influenced your notebooks?

Yeah. So he was like, I have these notebooks that I think you’d really like. And here’s one of them.

Try them. And I probably have purchased, at this point, no less than 50 since. I’ve been using this particular version of this notebook for the past five years.

I have so many that are completely filled up. The brand is called Maruman. It’s a Japanese brand.

It’s spelled M-A-R-U-M-A-N. And this particular collection, which is a spiral notebook that’s lined, I have no idea how to pronounce this, so I’m just gonna spell it out. It’s M-N-E-M-O-S-Y-N-E.

So memo scene, perhaps?

Yeah, yeah, maybe.

Something along those lines? Yeah. But they have multiple sizes, and I find for my morning pages practice, there’s a seven by nine, which is just a little bit, of course, less than an eight by 11.

And I just find it to be the perfect amount of space so that the wrist has enough to move. I know if you’ve ever written in a typical journal, it’s like a smaller three by eight, or not three by eight, but five by eight.

I need a place for my arm to rest. And I think one of the biggest hurdles in getting into the groove with a morning journaling practice is the discomfort that your hand feels or the placement of where we’re going to get your elbow.

Those things, if we’re not used to writing, those will catch us. It’s like when we’re in a workout class for the first time. It’s almost like our minds’ discomfort holds us back more than our bodies’ capability.

You know what I mean? Yeah. So I found these journals.

I get them over on Amazon, Daddy Bezos’ little startup site. But I do really love them. And most of the people in my Club Artist Way groups have caught on to them, also love them.

And they’re super affordable. They’re like, there’s all different sizes, but they’re anywhere from like 10 to 20.

Here’s what I need you to tell people, which is I was so fascinated by your notebook use because you have two different notebooks.

Yeah.

And so when does one tap in?

Yeah. So I have my seven by nine for my morning pages, where I do three pages, as we discussed on previous episode of Thanks For Asking.

And then what I find in my own morning writing experience is that oftentimes I will get pretty clear hits of what needs to happen in the day or the days following or the week ahead.

So I like to have a larger spiral notebook to the side where I can formulate a to-do list. Instead of keeping it in my morning pages because I don’t want to go back to my morning pages. That’s really not the point.

Also, I can’t read my handwriting, that part too.

So if I have a separate piece of writing for just sort of like what comes up, like the little nuggets that I need to reference or take note of, it’s like a to-notebook process, and it’s really helpful because I feel like I get the clearest hits of

Yeah.

I love it. I love that you shared those because they are on my list right now after I use up the two notebooks that I’m staring at right now.

There you go.

I can’t wait. I can’t wait to be done with these two notebooks that I like but don’t love so that I can move on to a notebook that I love.

And I also say if one is feeling tripped up in their morning pages practice, a really simple hack for that is to just get a new notebook even if you’re not done with the current notebook.

I just sometimes have found the new energy can really help reinvigorate the pattern.

I love that, because also, yeah, who am I suffering through this notebook for?

Right.

Like who?

Like it’s nice to, you know- Who benefits? It’s nice to, I like where your head’s at.

I don’t, I’m not knocking it. I see where you’re going. But also, I just know that for me, like sometimes I’ve just been like, the energy can feel stale sometimes, and a new fresh notebook just gets rid of that.

Yep, yep, yep.

Okay, I love that. I’m going to, I’m gonna do that. I’m gonna start my new, I’m gonna start a new notebook.

I’m gonna start a new notebook. Cause like, why? Why am I doing this?

I have another stationary related item to share, to share to wrap us up, which is, I found going through so many boxes and piles and stuff, I found this mother-son journal that I had started with Ralph, who’s 13 now.

We’d probably started when he was like in second grade, and then I guess like lost it.

So I like resurfaced it and it’s, you know, it’s prompts, it’s really light, easy breezy tasks, but like gets you thinking and talking and like sharing your perspective on similar situations.

So I started up again, Q, who’s nine, sees it, and is like, I don’t have one, like immediately competitive. And I was like, oh, you know, I don’t know if you would like want to do this. And he’s like, I want to do that.

So I got another one that I’m doing with him. And he wakes up in the morning and is like, did you do it? Did you write me back?

Did you write me like, and he sits down at his little breakfast seat and like just gets, he does his morning pages. He’s basically doing morning pages to me.

It’s so sweet. How special.

And he’s just like telling me all his feelings, you know, and like practicing his handwriting. And it’s just so cute. It’s so cute.

And I love it. And it’s like not, you know, it’s not, it’s not a laborious task. I think before I’d been like, oh, like, you know, I always kept a journal as a kid.

I kind of just assumed that my kids would want to do exactly what I did and be exactly like me and weird. They’re their own people. And he was like, I don’t know, journaling is just so hard.

It’s like, what do I write about? And like, this just gets him fired up to talk about his feelings.

I love that.

It’s so cute. It’s so cute. And you get to establish your own rules with it at the beginning.

And he was like, one, it can’t feel like work. And two, we can’t show this to anybody. And I was like, great, we can’t show it to anybody.

So it’s just like a little secret notebook. It feels like in high school, like writing notes back and forth. But I’m writing to…

So what’s an example of a prompt?

The first one, which I really, really liked, was on each side was like a sort of like cartoony illustration of a brain.

And it said like, this is what my head is filled with on a regular day. And so you could just like write your thoughts, write your feelings like in the brain.

And like, he just, his brain is so different from mine that he organized it really clearly, like organized his feelings. His vocabulary is wild. He was like looking up singular words to describe a feeling.

Oh.

Like words that I’d never heard of.

I was like, oh, I have to look that up. And, you know, our brains are similar in that like we feel like a lot of the same things too. It was just so cute.

And then another prompt is like, you know, oh, at your age, I liked this and I felt this and I thought this. And then they’ll respond with like, this is how I feel. This is what I do.

These are my favorite. So it’s just very, it’s like a lot of like perspective taking, which I think is helpful.

And I don’t know, we always kind of assumed, I think for generations that like men and boys have like fewer feelings, like have less capacity for emotion.

And that’s not true at all, as you know, from, you know, being married to a man, they actually do have feelings.

They do. I had a marketing teacher once say that men have the Crayola Classic Box, so the 12 of emotions, and women have the 120.

Oh, yes. I’m on burnt umber, okay. They’re on brown and we’re on like, wah, okay.

Exactly.

And I’m like, that, I don’t know, I’d always think about that. They do have the emotions, but I think, yeah, we have like a vast range.

And maybe it’s like we also just got to name all those colors, like got to blend all those colors, got more time with our colors too. I don’t know, it’s just really cool. It’s been-

I feel like there should be a Thanks For Asking version of this.

Oh, of a journal.

Yeah.

Yeah, I did it.

I look for of like a kid one. I like that because I do have a guided journal, but I didn’t get to choose how it was bound.

Oh, it’s not a spiral.

It’s not a spiral.

It’s not a spiral.

There’s some issues with that, but that’s okay. Other people really liked it, and so I won’t disparage it.

I do have a guided journal called Happy-ish, and it’s like the lowest stakes kind of journal based on like just like the lowest stakes journaling that I like to do, aside from morning pages. But I do like that idea. It’s a good idea.

Thank you for giving me an idea. You always give me an idea. Of course.

You always give me an idea. I also really love making Oracle decks. I’ve only made one.

That’s cool.

But I love them.

I love them. And I love buying them too. I have a lot.

Yeah.

Are you like, when someone comes over, you like pull a card.

I don’t, but I have in the past. What I do now, my little thing is I got a 1980s, like birthday book from Caroline Moss. When she was leaving LA, she was like, I can’t keep this.

And like, she was moving to, you know, New York and she was like, everything must go. And I kept it.

And you look up, you know, your birthday and it tells you like, you know, your guiding star, but it also tells you about yourself and like love, relationships, like key dates of people that you might, that might be important to you. Cool.

Really wild. Is it really thick?

Yes.

Oh, yes. I’ve seen this before. I love that book.

That’s a party.

And you want to know something wild is, I looked at my birthday and I hadn’t in a while, and Erin’s birthday is one of my soulmates.

Wow.

And Matthew is an important birthday for me too.

How cool.

Is that wild?

Yeah.

Like very wild.

I love that.

So, yep, yep. And yes, whenever somebody comes over, especially one of the kids’ friends, I’m like, and when’s your birthday? And we’ll read about you.

All right.

Let’s read about you.

Yeah. Let’s find out a little bit more about you.

Well, you have to know who’s coming into your home.

You have to know who’s coming into your home. You have to let them know that you know.

That you’ve got their number. Literally.

I literally have all the important relevant birth dates that could be important to you. And I will share them. My mom used to tell…

My mom’s grandma name is Madame, which she sort of iterated on from her grandmother, who everybody called Madame as a joke because she would keep like just playing cards in her apron.

And if you brought a boyfriend or a girlfriend over, she would be like, well, let me read the cards. And she would just pretend to read your fortune. And if she liked the person you were dating, she’d be like, oh, this looks really good.

And if she didn’t, she’d be like, oh, it’s really bad news. It’s really bad news. I love that.

And that’s my birthday book. Yeah. My birthday book is actually…

Kind of a grift, but that’s okay.

Kind of a grift.

I treat the birthday book like an oracle. I really do.

Yeah, no, it’s a cool book. I remember when I would be like dating people back in my 20s and we referenced the book.

You have to reference the book. I was doing this for Sophie. I’ve done it for Sophie’s friends.

I’m sending pictures of it to my niece. She’ll send me like a date. I’m like, I’m on it.

Like, I got to know. And then I’m like, but whose birthday am I looking up? Because I need the context.

Right, of course.

You’re like, do we like them?

Yeah. I’m like, who is this person to you? Why are you asking?

Why do you need to know? All right. Well, why do we need to know this about them?

I love it. Okay. Do you have a final thing to share?

Should we wrap it up? What do you think?

58:31

I mean, I did want to say that it’s just been really nice to have some good television to be watching.

Yes.

I just felt like with Summer House in particular, if I may, I was not expecting much from a three-part reunion.

I think usually we get a good 20 minutes of any kernels of entertainment from one of those. I was thoroughly entertained by all three. I wouldn’t say I was satisfied at the end.

We’re not satisfied.

But when things are good, we must acknowledge.

I just felt really satiated by a Tuesday night reunion watch.

The reunions have been flops in recent history.

Across the board.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion this year.

Anytime they say three-part reunion, I go, oh, spare us.

Why, why, why, why? I don’t want it. I don’t want it.

This one, I wanted actually all the uncut footage. I wanted every minute of the reunion, every camera angle, unmute, or yeah, no muted mics. I want 100% of the footage.

Release it to put it on open source and let the fans make what they will.

Yeah. And we also, we stream it in full.

Stream it in full.

I pay per view. I will pay.

I would pay. I would pay.

And I did find it interesting that we didn’t get the actual footage of the leaked audio.

Yeah.

Yeah. There’s more to be seen.

Yes, there is. There is. There is.

There is. Is there going to be a bonus?

Yeah. So we’re getting an aftermath.

Okay, we’re getting an aftermath.

Episode that’s sort of post-reunion.

Okay.

Camera’s up. So we’ll see.

We’ll see. We’ll see. Yeah, it’s just unsatisfying.

I’m like, come on. I don’t want my pound of flesh.

It was unsatisfying, but also…

So entertaining.

It did tickle my pickle.

It did. It did. I know.

It really did. It really did.

And it’s rare.

It’s rare. It’s very rare. It’s been so rare.

Elizabeth Kott, you are an angel and just one of my favorite people to talk to, and I adore you, and thank you for going on this really just meandering ride through a hundred different topics.

There’s no one I’d rather meander with while it’s being recorded, really. So thank you for having me. We must meander.

We simply must meander, and I appreciate you for that.

I really do. I hope your mom likes this episode.

Yeah, for sure.

I’m seeking approval. From your mother, most of all.

She loved the last one. I know. She sent it to her friends.

Oh, okay.

Just saying.

Okay.

All right. Well, we’ll see if I can top that.

We’ll see. I think-

We’ll see, we’ll see.

Fizzy beverages in mini cans. Yeah. In mini cans?

It will.

It’s going to get the ladies talking. And when Elizabeth’s mom hears this, she’ll say, Elizabeth, yes, of course we give people foods. Of course, of course, of course we do.

Of course, I try to clear the pantry when someone comes over. It’s very normal.

No, we don’t have anything in our pantry. I have an almond mom. Come on.

That’s me too.

Yeah, my mom never did it, but I do think it’s very normal. Yeah, my mom, you go to her house, it’s one egg loose in the fridge.

No, there’s so much stuff in the freezer.

A loose egg.

It’s- Why is the egg loose? There’s just, the freezer barely shuts because everything has been put in the freezer for another time.

When is that time?

When will the timer arrive?

I ask.

Please. Please. We beg to know when we be eating.

There’s no more room in the upstairs freezer.

We have to bring it to the basement freezer.

The overflow freezer. My father-in-law, God bless you, God rest your soul, Opa, he’d freeze stuff and be like, and he believed it was cryogenics. Now it can’t expire.

I had Opa and Oma too.

God.

Opa, Opa. And he would say, I found once like 10-year-old eggnog. And he’s like, well, I froze it.

And I was like-

Does alcohol freeze like that?

Oh, just the dairy that you have to add that.

Oh, just the dairy. Yeah, he was like, well, it’s frozen.

I was like, yeah. I don’t think it’s frozen in time. I think it’s still, it’s still aged.

It’s still aged. It’s still 10 years old, brother. We’re going to let this go, okay.

I’m Nora McInerny. This is It’s Going To Be Okay, and this is a group project. I want to hear your okay things.

I want you calling. I want you texting them in. Police number is 502-388-OKAY.

That’s 502-388-6529, or you can email them to IGTBO at feelingsand.co. I’m Nora McInerny. I’m your host.

I’m an author. I’m a podcaster. This episode is produced by Marcel Malekibu.

Our theme music is by Secret Audio. Their album is linked in our episode description. And I think that’s it.

We’re a production of Feelings and Co. This is an independent podcast, so liking, rating, reviewing, all of that stuff helps us so much. Thank you for being here.

If you want ad-free episodes of this and Thanks For Asking, you can subscribe on Apple and get ad-free episodes. I don’t know. I’m a bad salesperson.

We’ll see you back here, I think, in two weeks. For more, it’s going to be okay.