45. Birds Don’t Care

This mashup episode features friends, birds, and CPR as things that help three listeners know it’s going to be okay. 

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

I’m Nora McInerny, and it’s going to be okay. 

But I never want you to just take my word for it. Because the IT is different for everyone, every day.

PHONE RINGING

VOICEMAIL RECEIVER CLICK

Barb: Hi, Nora. My name is Barb Benincasa. I’m from upstate New York. What makes me feel okay is knowing that I have friends who will always be there for me. They don’t make me feel like everything has to be fine. They just keep showing up and giving their support. That makes me know everything’s going to be okay.

That was a voicemail from Barb, but you don’t have to send us a voicemail, you can always email us. And if you do, I will read it. 

For Barb, it’s her friends that make her believe it’s going to be okay.

But for Casey…it’s birds.

CHIME

Casey: Last year, we realized my dad was quite physically frail and needed help around their apartment, and then we learned my stepmom had been diagnosed with dementia.  Within weeks of that visit, my husband and I had decided to move back home to Arizona, where we would be just over an hour away (instead of 14+ hours). 

The day after the move was final, and I reached our new home in Arizona, my Dad suddenly died.  He had been ill, sure, but he had been doing better and gaining weight. It was a surprise, yet it wasn’t somehow.  Since then, I have been acting as a case manager/caregiver/helper for my stepmom. It’s been 2 full months and we are finally having his celebration of life.

What’s helping me is the view from our breakfast nook. Southwest birds are so much fun. Inca doves (similar to mourning doves) are all over the place. Quail are ridiculous birds, and we have welcomed their little top-knot-feathered heads and bouncy little beaks into our yard as well. The other day, a full-size roadrunner greeted me on the windowsill, inches away from my surprised gaze. 

The birds don’t care about government paperwork, medications, grief, complicated relationships, whether or not someone should drive, or any of that. They just want the seed block we set out for them. They want the bugs they can find in the mostly-dead mulberry trunk. They want the tiny stones that help them break up and digest the seeds they eat.  That’s all. They simplify things, give us laughter, and remind us that yeah, it’s going to be ok.

Casey, first, as a fellow bird lover, thank you for instructing me that those are actually Inca doves and not morning doves. We have plenty of those. I do not have roadrunners yet. And now, I have a new goal. 

And I also have a new phrase! The birds don’t care. 

A lot is going to happen today, a lot is going to happen this week. A lot is going to happen in a lifetime. And we have to care about a whole lot of it. 

But birds don’t! Good for them.

CHIME

We have another message from a listener named Kori. 

Kori: For almost 10 years I’ve been a CPR instructor, EMT, presenter at resuscitation conferences, etc. I’ve devoted my life to training people how to give another human a chance to come back to live and tell their loved ones “I love you”, “forgive me”, “goodbye”…. 

I’ve talked about it with anyone who would listen except… with my family. 6 months ago my mom had a cardiac emergency,  and since women “present differently ” everyone thought that it was indigestion and she died. I can’t help but wonder if CPR could have saved her life. If the work I’ve been doing could have given me the chance to tell my mom how much I loved her one more time. Now, I’m focusing on developing a games where cpr is an integral part. Because even though I couldn’t save my mom’s life, I have faith that if kids learn about CPR, their moms might get a chance to hug them one more time and it will all be ok… ish…

OUTRO MUSIC

CREDITS