446. The Return of Ralph: It’s Going to be OK

Things are not good in the world right now, and you don’t need us to tell you that. But despair is also not good. Having no hope is not good. And Nora believes that the antidote to despair is action – doing things for others in whatever capacity you can. So she and her son Ralph are bringing back IGTBO for you as an exercise in seeing the OK things in the world around you, even when it seems like all hope is lost.

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

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Oh, I love you, kid.

Okay.

Why does it say we are recording?

Because we are recording.

Oh.

Oh, you have to hold.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Do you have a sock we can cut holes in?

No, we’re going to have to find another way to anonymize you. Hello, everybody, I’m Nora McInerny.

And I’m Nora Purmort.

And it’s going to be okay. Will you say your name a little? I’m Nora McInerny.

And I’m Ralph Purmort.

And it’s going to be okay.

This is a special guest that we have here today.

The last time we had Ralph on the podcast, he was a toddler, fourth grader, I think, a fourth grader. You’re good, you’re safe, you’re doing great, I believe was. That was a fourth grade.

It was a fourth grade endeavor.

It was, and that was, you should know that that episode, people still love, and that message is something that people still love.

But Ralph is now? And you are? A seventh grader.

And he is my special guest today, because what could possibly assure you that something in the world is going to be okay more than a youth, a gen alpha, here with us. So if you are here for the first time, Ralph is my son. And allegedly my son.

I feel like I have enough memories of that moment, Ralph, to really know that you are. I don’t want to get too graphic, but trust me, buddy.

I was there.

You’re my kid. And here, this is the real way that we can tell our thumbs. Oh, man, I can do this.

Stop. Okay, he has weird joints like me, and he has a weird thumb like me, and he is perfect like me, and that’s how I know he is my child.

But if you are joining us for the first time and you’re wondering, why is this show called It’s Going To Be Okay? It’s because that is something that Ralph’s dad always said to me. Papa always said, it’s going to be okay.

And he said that when I was just a regular, stressed out lady, worried about work. He said it when he was diagnosed with brain cancer. He said it when he was dying of brain cancer.

And you know what I thought every time he said it, Ralph?

It is going to be okay.

No, I thought you’re so…

I thought you were going to say something like, it is going to be okay.

Yeah, man. Hey, hey, yeah, we’ll be fine. No, every time he said it, I thought, what are you talking about?

You’re not okay.

You’re not okay.

This will never be okay, but look at us, are we kind of okay?

Kind of.

For the most part.

We’re mostly okay.

Mostly okay. We have our ups and downs. That’s life, baby.

We would never say everything is going to be okay.

That’s not something that we say as a family, not something I say as an individual, not something I believe, because I think you can look around the world and you can name probably a million things that aren’t okay and never would be.

Oh, 100 percent.

100 percent, easily, easily. Today alone, you could open up the news and you could say, woof, not that.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely not, not that, not that. But the point of this show, the point of this exercise is to find something okay and share it and remind ourselves that there is more than just horrible, terrible things in the world.

And I think that we need that more than ever right now. Would you agree, Ralph? Oh, 100%.

Okay.

And I, again, I know that things are not good right now, but also despair is not good.

Despair is not good. Being hopeless is not a good thing. And I think that the antidote to despair is action.

It is doing something, however small, for the people around you, in whatever capacity you are able to do it. So today’s yesterday, there was like a general strike, right? Oh yeah.

So some kids didn’t go to school. Some people didn’t go to work. You know, some people didn’t shop.

You just kind of do what you can do. But even outside of that, whatever you care about, whatever you can do, you just got to do something. So that’s what today is about.

And we are going to get into it.

5:22
Finding Okay Things

And first, Ralph, we’re going to start with a small exercise. I asked you to tell me, bring a list, bring a list of things that are okay in your world right now. We’re going to take turns.

So I want you to tell me one okay thing.

Me and my friends have been playing a lot of this video game, Minecraft. And my friend pays for a Minecraft server. We all pay for this Minecraft server that lets us all play together any time.

And when we get too good at it, we restart it so that we start from the beginning, so that we’re not really, really good for the rest of our lives.

But we restarted the game again, and it just gives me something to do with my friends, and I really like that.

Yeah, I am probably the coolest mom when it comes to video games.

I think the amount that I get, I’m like, no. But really, it’s…

It’s decent, right? It’s decent. And I also see a value in it that I think I didn’t see before, which is it is social time.

It’s not the kind of social time I had when I was your age. But I can hear it, right? Like, you guys getting on the phone together and having fun together and collaborating and problem solving.

And yes, I am justifying your screen time a little bit to myself. Can I gently correct your grammar?

Yes.

If you want to know whether it’s my friends and I or me and my friends, take out the other person. And would you say me got a Minecraft server?

Okay.

So, who has a Minecraft server?

Me and my, I mean, me, if I and my friends.

My friends and I.

My friends and I.

Me and I.

Me and I.

Okay, do you want to hear one of mine? Yeah.

Okay.

One of mine is knowing that when things are bad, like they have been very recently, especially in, you know, our shared hometown in Minneapolis, that there are people who can and do and will repeatedly show up for the people around them and for

people that they don’t even know. So I’ve watched, you know, fundraisers spring up and just like get filled.

I was talking to a friend of mine who was saying that the parents at his kid’s school, you know, shifted from volunteering in the classroom to just volunteering to, you know, pick up kids and drive them to school if their parents don’t feel

comfortable, you know, going out on the roads. And it’s… It’s really beautiful, isn’t it? It’s really beautiful.

And I think especially when you look at how big and scary and, you know, violent and horrible the world can be and people can be to see those moments of grace among people and to see the way that people really will show up and like, love other people

is like just such a good, good reminder. So sorry to go like so heavy and deep with mine when your first one was Minecraft, but…

Now that you say that, I’m kind of thinking mine really don’t match up. Mine are small little things that don’t affect anybody but me.

That’s okay, they don’t have to be big. Will you tell me your other one?

Yes, my second one is, talking to my dad about my lunch that I bring to school every day, and that I would like to change, instead of my tiny little petite cookies that I get at Trader Joe’s, I would like to swap to the Chips Ahoy that C*** brings.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, but that’s, you know, so you advocated for yourself?

Yeah.

It’s also a good time to maybe point out that it’s probably time for you to start packing your own lunch.

I do pack my own lunch.

Oh, but he does the grocery shopping.

Yeah.

So you went right to the source.

That’s great.

How long?

He won’t let me write a list on the fridge, so I have to tell him directly and then he pulls out his phone.

He puts in his app.

He got this app recently. He writes in his list and he’s like, look at this. Every time I cross something off, it goes back to the list for next week.

I can’t do anything but sit there and say, that’s great, dad. Dad, that’s great.

I love that. He does love that app.

He loves that app.

That makes me happy. That might be an okay thing.

His app, his fridge, his washing machine.

Everything a man needs. That’s a man.

Men love machinery.

He loves soccer so much.

Yeah.

He’ll put on a game and they’ll say, Ralph, I’m going to take a quick nap. He’ll lay there on the couch for 15 minutes and just nap.

Then when he gets up, what does he do?

He washes dishes.

Yeah.

Folds laundry and watches soccer. Yeah. Well, folding our underwear.

Yeah.

Neatly.

He folds very neatly.

Yeah.

He folds very neatly.

It’s nice.

Yeah. I can’t really fold clothes. Don’t look at my closet right now.

I mean, you could.

I could, but-

I like that you act like you just presented that you have a physical illness.

I can’t fold clothes.

I’m actually not capable of folding clothes.

I can’t fold clothes from the life.

Yeah.

For the life of you?

For the life of me.

For life.

I’m actually banned from folding my own clothes.

Yeah.

I’m actually banned from folding my own clothes.

I can’t. I just think I can’t.

I can’t. When I hold up a T-shirt, my arms won’t-

It’s like my muscles just get all sore and I just like-

You’re going to need to probably see a physical therapist. You did, and what did-

You can fix it.

She said, this boy cannot fold. Don’t make him fold. Don’t make him fold a T-shirt.

No, he can’t do it. He can’t do it. Okay, that’s a good one, Ralph.

You got some new cookies and new cookies. I feel like I’ve mentioned this one before, but on the door of the studio, I put that little-

Oh, the Margot Mail.

I put the Margot Mail box up. I actually have to make her, I have to write her a new note today. But my upstairs neighbor here at the studio, her granddaughter Margot is like the cutest little girl.

And you’re like toddlers, how they get really, really curious about everything.

Yeah, and they’ll like just pick something up and be like, Oh, she’s like, I love this.

I love this. You know, all the feathers that are in the kitchen?

She gave those.

Yeah.

She loves them. She might be plucking them straight off the bird.

I have so many.

She has avian flu.

She’s giving it to me.

She’s trying to kill you, mom.

Oh, no.

She’s trying to kill you, your pigeons, all the birds.

She’s giving avian flu to you so that you can give it to me and I can give it to other people until all the birds die.

She’s diabolical.

She’s an evil man.

She’s diabolical. Well, you know what? I’m in on it now.

So I’m in too deep. I can’t leave now, but well, she actually gave me something really, really incredible. So have you seen me wear that rock?

Yes.

She gave me that.

Yes. It’s a rock that has a natural hole in it, a natural hole.

How did she find that?

I don’t know where she found it, but she loves rocks. So I’ve gotten a couple other rocks. Wait till I tell you about this.

I’ve gotten a couple other rocks from her. Oh, jeez. I can’t type on this new iOS and I don’t like…

For some reason, my keys are see-through.

Yeah. So I just have to memorize my keyboard now.

Okay. And then she put a silver cord through it and a gold cord and tied them together. It looks so cool.

I’ve gotten so many complements on it and it’s called a hag stone.

A hag stone.

Oh, thanks.

Maybe you avian flu and calling you a hag.

She is.

She is.

And that’s okay.

These are magical stones. Okay. It could grant me the power to cure venomous snake bites or peer through the veil of enchantment, revealing the true form of witches or fairies when you gaze through the little hole in it.

Okay.

Yeah.

So they’re just like magical. They’re very spiritual. They’re medieval witchcraft.

They’re cool. And I love it. They’re donuts.

I don’t know. I just love it. And I love that I get to like write her little notes too.

So we should actually put some in the little mailbox for her. I think that should be our goal for today.

All right.

Your turn again.

Okay. Well, ever since you got a, I don’t know how many you got, because there’s one here now too, but a hummingbird feeder.

Oh yeah.

We had the sugar water sitting there for a week at least.

Okay.

I don’t know if the hummingbird should be drinking that.

I had to actually throw it away to make it fresh.

Yeah.

Well, thank you for pointing that out.

In letting the dogs out and seeing a hummingbird.

Yeah.

It’s really, you like it?

Yeah, I like it.

It’s nice. Yeah.

But I don’t like it when I don’t expect them and they’re behind the conditioning unit.

Yeah.

Like one day, one flew behind the air conditioning unit, went up in my face and went.

I like when they do that.

Like as if he was.

He’s like, you’re coming up from a sugar water. Who told you where the sugar water is?

Every time I’m outside, I’m like, it tastes like.

It’s, I mean, all it is, is equal parts sugar and water. Tastes like sugar. Yeah.

It’s literally sugar water. Ralph, what do you mean? What do you mean?

What does it taste like? It’s sugar water.

I didn’t know if it would taste like water or like salt or something.

What?

You know, when you combine like a-

Sugar and water?

As soon as you get salt.

Yeah. On the off chance that you get salt.

I wonder what this can taste like. Ingredients are sugar and water.

Oh, salt.

Yeah, they go nuts for it. They go nuts for it.

I really like that.

I have a bonus one.

Okay. Yeah.

There have been lots of seals, sealed videos. They’re so funny. Have you seen when zookeeper will like push their-

like bonk them on the head? Their head will- they’ll like-

like their head will go into their body and they’ll be like, oh. And then they’ll just like-

the way they move, it’s like.

Yeah. You all have to watch Seal videos.

Yeah, they do kind of blub blub blub, especially on land. It’s like they just got to scooch. They’re scoochers.

Yeah.

This is why I don’t understand why people are afraid of sea lions and walrus, because they’re just bigger seals.

Are they fast? I don’t know.

No, seals on land aren’t fast. I don’t know about walrus. I feel like those could be fast.

I feel like they’d be fast, kind of like a rhino.

You don’t think a rhino’s… Hippos are very fast too.

Hippos are scary.

You don’t want to get near a hippo.

Hippos, crocodiles. I honestly really don’t like the ocean.

Yeah, it is scary.

It’s scary.

We’re trying to keep it positive, buddy here.

Oh, of course.

As I was saying, I love the ocean.

Well, you’re listing animals that might kill you.

Okay.

Have you seen the video of the seal? Seals are getting ticked off with people.

Oh yeah.

They’ll like- they’ll start chasing people.

They took a guy’s surfboard and I said, well, now it is.

Yeah.

If a seal wants to surf.

Oh, have you seen all the seals? They surrounded these guys like jeep near the beach so that he couldn’t leave.

Because they wanted the jeep or what they want?

I don’t know.

They wanted his soul.

Yeah, they wanted his soul.

Yeah, they said-

They decided it was a nice jeep, so they wanted his soul.

They said, you’re in my territory now.

Give me your soul.

And this ends today. And then they took him. Yeah.

And they shoot out his brakes.

I was like, wow.

Wow.

Okay, so seal videos, cookies, hummingbirds, Minecraft.

I love that. I love that, buddy. There’s a lot of good stuff in the world.

I like that.

What is my third one?

What is your third one?

Hopefully not as dark as the first.

Oh, no, I have my third one. Okay, so I went to a community meeting today and a woman sat next to me and I smiled and said hi and then she tapped me maybe like 40 minutes in. She was like, wait, are you Nora?

And I was like, yes, how do I know you? She is your friend’s mom from third grade.

Yes, from third grade.

Yes.

So, and school was not my favorite.

No, but he’s great. He’s great. He’s in eighth grade now, FYI.

And he was a great head of me.

Oh, I didn’t know that.

I thought he skipped.

Combined grades.

Oh, that’s right. Yeah. So he is anyway, so he’s doing great.

She sent me his number to give to you. And I love that. I love when like small moments like that happen because guess what?

We were just talking about him. We were talking about, about how on what was it?

Was it my eighth birthday? Like my? Yeah.

Yeah. He came to my birthday. I was at a park and I was like, look at all those pigeons.

So look at all those pigeons.

Look at all those pigeons.

So the highest voice.

It was so cute.

Yeah.

It was so funny.

But this is probably my best, the best story.

It really is.

Wouldn’t it be so funny if we grabbed one? And he says, oh yeah, I’ll see you guys later because we had gotten a Bouncy House. This was the first birthday that I ever had with like friends.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Strict mom.

But she’s not, you know.

But we, he said, oh, we were like, let’s go to the Bouncy House. We’re like, yeah, yeah. I was like, Julian, are you going to come?

Oh, it’s OK.

Oh, I was like, Julian, are you going to come?

And he says, oh, yeah, I’ll be there in a second. He comes over. He walks in the Bouncy House, and he has a pigeon.

He’s holding a pigeon.

And I have a video, and he goes, I got a pigeon.

And then I’m screaming, laughing.

I’ve got like five, like the whole birthday party. He was just over there catching pigeons.

This is the biggest one I could catch.

I wanted to bring you the biggest one.

I’m pretty sure he cornered them near the lake. Maybe.

The pond.

The pond.

Definitely a pond.

That’s so funny. It’s so funny.

I remember, I think it was like when I just got a bike, I was like six, five.

Yeah.

I don’t know. We were biking near that pond area, like the park near our house, and there were all those pigeons, like a big horde of them, and you just rode right through them. But when they went in, I was like, Mom, help.

Mom, I can’t do it.

I can’t do it.

Because I thought if I went through, they were going to attack me or maybe I wouldn’t have moved.

Yeah.

Or they wouldn’t move and I would just kill all of them. I ended up just swerving onto this bench.

I was like, Ralph, they’ll move. They don’t want to get hit by a bike. Yeah.

Yeah. You didn’t trust me.

I didn’t trust you.

That’s been a theme.

When you were like a toddler, you go to the top of a slide and I’d be like, all right, Ralph, and you just wave other kids down. You just stand at the top and be like, your turn. Your turn.

Wait. And you’d make another kid wait till the other kid cleared. You may go.

You were very good at that.

Okay. Ralph, we have people who have called in. Oh, I think you had a news story.

We’ve got some okay things from the news first and Ralph is going to share his.

So this is kind of about Seals. So polar bears, the big white bears.

Read me the headline first.

Oh, polar bears are in better physical shape than 25 years ago.

What’s the source?

Good News Network. I looked up happy news stories because if I looked up news stories, it would just be like Minnesota, like polar bears are in better physical shape than 25 years ago, despite sea ice losses.

Source polar bears, polar bear diet coaches.

Good News Network.

Okay.

But I was surprised by this. Also, like this photo is very funny. Like if you’ve ever seen a polar bear, if they stand, they have a very flat back, but a very pointy face.

You see that?

Oh yeah. That’s cute.

Yeah. It’s kind of funny. But I was surprised by this because they eat seals and seals are fat and slow.

Yeah.

I was surprised how they were in better shape.

If they’re eating our equivalent of a Big Mac.

Okay.

That was just…

Oh, I love that. I love that. Okay.

Also, they also say reveals new research.

Who’s researching how fat a polar bear is?

This is why this, I can’t trust this news because I think it came from polar bears.

They’re like, a lot of people think we’re fat and lazy. Here’s the thing you don’t know about polar bears. We’re actually in excellent shape.

We actually look better than we did 25 years ago.

Oh, beautiful.

We do love a bear with a bear cub. Okay.

Unfortunately, mine is also from Good News Network.

I told you. Good News Network is the best.

This is not sponsored, but this is from Good News Network.

And an eight-year-old woman, a teacher, retired teacher, from Michigan, 80 years old, just became the oldest person, oldest female hiker, I should say, to finish the Appalachian Trail. Okay. That’s quite a feat.

I don’t even think I could do that right now. It’s 2,200 miles long, 2,200 miles long.

I remember when we watched that movie on the boat, we were like…

We watched a horrible movie that took place on the Appalachian Trail.

Yeah.

You know what the worst movie we watched on the cruise was?

Lost.

No. Cast Away.

Cast Away.

Yeah, that movie was cool.

I was like, Dad, why did you decide this?

Yeah. Why did they put this on the…

The plane crash in the middle of the ocean?

Yeah. The other movie that they had available was Titanic.

Titanic, exactly. I was like…

What?

That should be banned.

Those are not…

This should not be available anywhere near the ocean.

No, no. No, we did watch a movie. We watched part of a movie that took place on the Appalachian Trail.

That was weird. That was a weird movie. Did we?

It was a very weird movie.

And then I was like…

It made me want to hike the Appalachian Trail, though. Yeah.

And every time I see stuff in a movie, like if they’re… if this like action movie, they’re like parkour and doing like crazy stuff, I’m like, I could do that.

Yeah, me too.

I think that. But when I really think about it, I could not do the Appalachian Trail.

Yes, we could. That’s it. That we’re doing it.

Oh, podcast special.

Yeah, we’re going to do it.

Yeah, we’re going to podcast from the Appalachian Trail.

Just me and you, buddy.

And a bear.

And a bear. It’s walking. I mean, it’s hiking.

It’s hard. It’s 2,200 miles and I turned to it’s it’s hiking. You got to camp across multiple states, multiple states, because some of them are haunted.

So, yeah, the Appalachian Mountains are very haunted. You should look that up. You should look that up on YouTube.

You’ll be you don’t look it up on YouTube. Don’t do that. But it’s spooky.

I’m going to look it up after this.

Some of the oldest land in the world are the Appalachian Mountains.

Like, very haunted, very spiritual land. So, yeah. Okay.

Now, Geoff, that was it. That was all the news that you had to share. All the news you could use.

You do?

Okay.

This one I thought was just kind of nice. To prevent cognitive… This is also from Good News Network.

This is not sponsored. But, helping with grandkid… Like, if grandparents teach their grandkids, like stuff, like addition and stuff, prevents cognitive decline.

Oh, that’s nice.

That’s nice. Is that a hint? Like, I should be teaching you?

Yes.

Mom, I’m trying to tell you that kind of…

That’s time for me to…

It is.

It’s time for you to lock in.

You love Good News Network. You used it too.

Okay.

You know what? Guilty.

Guilty.

Okay.

But I mean, where else are you going to find Good News?

On the goodnewsnetwork.org.

On the goodnewsnetwork.org.

Oh, boy.

It’s not a work, so that’s how we know that it can be trusted.

I don’t think so. I don’t… I wouldn’t go that far.

I would not go that far.

Oh, more carpet is so…

Yeah, it sheds. It sheds. It sheds a lot.

It sheds.

It’s a nice carpet, though.

It is nice. I like it.

It’s got flowers and plants.

Um, oh.

When I don’t want to stop talking to somebody, like this, like we have awkward silence like this, I just say, what brand is your micro?

What brand is your micro?

If I can’t think of anything else, what brand is your micro?

The funny thing is, like, I remember with my mom saying to, like, oh, God, I just like that. I hate awkward silence. And she’s like, what are you talking about?

It’s just silence.

It’s not awkward.

Like we know each other.

Yeah.

But also, like, kids always would say that. It’s funny to me that middle school kids are like, awkward, awkward silence. Oh, my God.

Well, no, I said that once.

This isn’t. Wow.

I’m painting with a wide brush, which is how I like to paint.

OK, I’m going to OK.

So now we have we have audience submissions. That’s what I got distracted.

Yeah, I wonder by what? Good News Network.

I saw Good News Network.

I’ve seen Good News Network just soaking up the good news.

Any good news gifts?

What are you talking about?

Oh, my God, why do you know so much about this? OK. Good News Network.

OK.

Tip a patron.

Stop.

We just love Good News Network.

We can get a big poster right here.

Good News Network.

Loving Good News Network.

Good News Network.

Good News Games. Please, please stop. Good News Network Patreon.

Stop shouting out anyone else’s Patreon.

Oh, God.

Okay.

Oh, you make me laugh, kid.

Okay, here’s a submission. Okay, it says, hello, Nora and team. And who’s on the team today?

Me. That’s right. I sublet an office from an amazing clinic called Catalyst Therapies with SLPs, that’s Speech Language Pathologists, OTs and an Autism Diagnostic Clinic.

They turn their front closet next to the waiting room into a mini food pantry, so anybody visiting can get food no questions asked.

Such a seemingly small, simple act, but many families are on Medicaid and coming to therapy can be hard enough with little kids needing extra services.

Now, if they forget a snack on the way or need dinner that night, they’ve got something and they told everybody to take snacks as needed, so it’s normalized. I love that.

I have a little merch shop for my literacy business and made a shirt that profits the King Center. Again, small act, but spreading love in message and money.

Many of the clinicians and literacy educators in my community are giving in small and big ways, lots of people donating to immigrant support groups. The Buy Nothing group in my neighborhood is taking care of people well.

If someone asks for food, they’re giving it and quickly. That felt really nice to write. Do you know just asking people to share these stories would be so therapeutic?

I did not know that, but I was hoping. Thank you for all you do. Kathleen Love, what a great name.

That’s a good name.

Kathleen Love?

Whoever gets that last name is jealous.

I know.

I believe that you don’t have to change your last name. I did and then I changed it back.

What did you change your last name to?

Purmort.

Oh.

Yeah, for a minute.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

You were a baby. You were a baby. I was like, wait, but I’m Nora McInerny.

Yeah, Nora Purmort doesn’t really-

It does.

It’s too many Rs. Nora Purmort, it’s trip. It trips.

It trips up the tongue in a way.

Nora Purmort.

Nora Purmort.

Nora Purmort.

Ralph Purmort.

Ralph Purmort.

I think it’s got a flow. Ralph J. Purmort?

That’s for when you’re a lawyer. Ralph McInerny. Oh, you stopped that.

That’s who you’re named after. So I think Ralph J. McInerny and Purmort is a great name.

But here’s the point. You marry someone and they have a better last name than you? Take it.

That’s what I say. Take it. Take it.

But that’s only for you to decide. Okay, you’re going to read this one. You just read where it says, Hi.

Hi.

My friend is an educator in collecting signatures at local bookstores.

At local bookstores.

Today, that would protect education in our state. And this week, three women called out to me for my scripts on calling and emailing our senators.

That’s great. That’s great. Calling your senator is a big thing.

It feels kind of scary.

My education.

Protecting a kid’s education. Shout out, right?

Oh, yeah.

One really good thing in my life right now is that I help out a few times a week at a horse farm. I’m convinced that horse girls will save us. These 9 to 13 year old girls are passionate, gritty and so smart.

They wrangled these giant creatures that truly could kill them in an instance if they wanted to. When I asked where they go to the bathroom, they said in the woods or in a horse stall.

They daydream about trucks that are strong enough to pull their horses. They have burping competitions. They’re strong in spirit and literally stronger than a lot of grown men.

Mr. Rogers said to look for the helpers, but I say look for the horse girls. Do you know any horse girls?

I do not.

Horse girls honestly kind of scare me.

They’re powerful.

My friend at school recently got another pet goat. Did not know that she had more than one pet goat.

Does she live in the city?

She has goats?

Yeah, she has a really big backyard.

She also has a horse.

You got to find out where this girl lives.

Yeah, she has a horse though.

I mean, there’s people who have horse properties in Phoenix, we know.

I don’t know if it’s in her backyard, but it could be.

I want goats.

Yeah, she’s got like a baby goat, so it just runs around her house.

Okay.

You should like make a poll.

Yeah.

And like have people vote on if we should get like a studio goat.

I can’t have a goat here, unfortunately. I can have a dog that’s under 25 pounds.

Stacey?

Yeah.

She’s beautiful.

She is.

Why do you hate me?

Don’t say that. I don’t hate Stacey. I don’t hate Stacey.

Her breath is a diabolical.

And how? She only has 14?

I know. I know. I know.

What I do love is that when she wakes up, we’re talking about a Shih Tzu, by the way, when she wakes up, she wants to play immediately.

Oh yeah. When she wakes up and sometimes when you get home.

Yes. Then she wants to be-

If you’re home late, like yesterday or the day before, she is-

She’s conked.

Pounding towards you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And she’s like, she’s like, I need to, I need to, I need you to throw this toy four times.

Otherwise, I’m going to pot you and rip your pants open again.

Yes.

What she has done.

Okay.

Read this one.

All right.

Good thing for Minnesota. Oh, my friend Robin has created a collective for the Inver Grove Heights School District families. CarePak’s gone out to all elementary schools in our district.

They have a newsletter, a PayPal. They’re applying for their 501C3, I don’t know what that means, and an LLC with a fiscal partnership.

This has built huge momentum for the communities to support, not only the need to support families in our community through the current horrible events they are facing while leaving their houses here in Minnesota, but her and her partner, SIL,

That is good.

That is good.

That is good.

I love that.

Yeah.

I love that.

As long as it’s at 2 percent.

It is?

It is at 2 percent.

Oh, my God.

How did that happen?

Send me the ones that we need.

Okay. Oh, my God. No.

Okay.

I like, I, I.

Hold her phone on.

Yeah.

Sorry. I don’t turn the screen off. I just, I don’t think about it.

Okay. Read the, the message, and then you can read the text at the top.

Good things.

I let my 15 year old skip school today for the Econaut. Well, this would be Friday.

Uh-huh.

Not today. Yeah.

They know.

Good things.

I let my 15 year old skip school today for the economic, economic blackout. So long as, as her work was caught up and she used some of her time to contact her congressional representatives, got this text from her, and I’m exceedingly proud.

Yeah.

I was not expecting to actually talk to somebody in the phone.

I’ll say this is the text she got.

This is the text she got. I was not expecting to actually talk to somebody in the phone. Okay.

I called Ibtbo Tert’s office about KOSA and I actually talked to someone, yeah, how to go. Oh, and then she said, yeah, how to go. And the other person, her daughter, her 15-year-old said, good.

I think he acknowledged what I was saying and said he would pass my words on to the congresswoman.

Oh, that’s great. If you’re nervous about calling your representative, you have to remember two things. The person who, a 15-year-old just did it.

Most of the people who work there are very, very young and they are simply taking notes on what you said.

Or I think in the case of my congressman, David Schweikart, my enemy, not writing anything down at all and just being like, uh-huh, yeah, we hear you. We don’t care at all.

Remember that speed camera we asked for maybe five years ago?

Yeah, that’s not his job, though. That’s our city council person and that’s a fight for another day.

Then the third thing, if you’re ever nervous about calling an elected representative, you have to remember Ralph, if you’re ever nervous in life, I want you to remember something.

Every person that you were nervous to speak to has once had explosive diarrhea.

Type five, bean soup.

They have been gripping the toilet, like every person.

Stop.

It’s an eruption.

Then no one’s scary to you.

When it was our staycation with me and Madame, we went to the hotel.

Stop, stop, stop, stop.

I have to, please.

You can do that on a subscriber-only episode. You can tell that story.

Okay. Okay, that’s enough, that’s enough, that’s enough, that’s enough, that’s enough. Okay.

Oh, my God.

Ralph, I don’t think I’ve laughed this hard in so long. Okay, we have a voicemail.

Hi, it’s Whitney.

It’s going to be okay.

I’m calling you from the vehicle licensing place in my county, where I, after my dad died, went through a maze of spiderwebs and weirdness to license a car that he, or I guess register a car, that he had lost the title for several years ago and

abandoned. And now, here we are 1000% with a vehicle registration because of a man named Chip who said, and I quote, If they can have dealerships wait 60 days with a temporary tug, I think you can have 60 days to figure it out.

So now I’ll be able to drive this car in my town to get my kids from place to place while my husband commutes in the other one.

And I feel so much joy for figuring out this complex problem and for Chip, the man at the vehicle registration place that saved my butt on a Friday at 4:34 PM. Thank you.

Bye.

You’ve never been to the DMV Ralph, but it’s a really big deal if somebody does something that nice for you because you have to, there’s so much paperwork.

After that added elementary episode, I feel the pain.

Yeah.

I don’t mind going to the DMV though, I’ll be honest. I don’t mind errands like that. I don’t mind waiting in line at the post office.

I don’t mind, but I really do love when someone just does you a solid and is like, don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about it. So shout out to Chip.

Yeah. Hell yeah, Chip. Thank you, Chip.

Chip, as the kids say, you have aura. That’s Chip aura farming.

That’s Chip aura farming.

He’s out there aura farming.

He’s like Piccolo aura farming.

He is. He is.

Okay.

Hi, it’s Ashley and it’s going to be okay.

One thing that I’m doing that makes me feel just a tiny bit better in this world is buying sweaters for the dogs that I see who have to sleep outside with their people so that they’re a little bit warmer during the winter.

I think that’s so cute.

You know, I have always loved dogs wearing sweaters, boots, any dog clothes. We have a farmers market here. They have a dog costume competition.

Oh, we missed it today.

We missed the farmers market. Oh, man.

Okay.

Okay.

No, I won’t. Shoot.

Sorry.

Sorry, doll.

Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry.

But they have a Halloween dog competition and me and my kind of grandma.

Yeah. Bonus grandma.

Yeah. We go to the farmers market a lot and they have like a Halloween dog competition. They also just have dog competition.

Just dog competition.

Just dog versus dog.

No, don’t say dog fights.

But they’ll have like they’ll put up like this big dog park thing right in this field and then they’ll have dog costume competition.

Okay.

And like jumping competitions and stuff. It’s really funny. So you can literally jump higher than the greyhound.

All right.

So funny.

But these two dogs, me and my grandma’s favorite dogs, Potato and Chip.

Uh-huh.

Oh, that’s cute.

Chip and Potato. But they were farmers last year.

Oh, that’s cute.

Pugs dressed as farmers.

That’s adorable.

It was, no, one potato was a farmer.

Okay.

Chip was a cowboy.

Okay.

It was very funny.

I love it. I love it. That’s really cute.

Okay.

We have one last voicemail for today before Ralph and I wrap it up.

Hi, it’s Megan and it’s going to be okay.

We, my boyfriend and I recently bought a house and we had a housewarming party and I really, it was like negative 20 degrees where we live when chill.

And I really thought nobody was going to come, but over like 30 people came, they brought like toys for our dog. And someone who I just met a couple of months ago brought us like fancy salt.

Someone brought a card that it said like, oh, ever since I met you two you’ve been so welcoming. And I don’t know, I just felt like surrounded by friends and love and made me feel like it’s going to be okay.

And a lot of people said that being in a room with a lot of other people on such a cold day and during such a hard week, it made them feel a lot better too. So I was happy to have that space and provide that space and got a lot, lot, lot back.

You know what?

I think that that’s what everybody needs right now.

There’s a little house party, a little housewarming party. You got to get together with people. You got to get off your phone and into the world.

People feel more welcome.

Yeah.

Connected.

Yeah. You love Sunday dinner.

I love Sunday dinner. We haven’t had it in a while.

We haven’t. We haven’t had any.

Are you going to be here on Sunday?

Yeah, I’ll be here.

Good Sunday dinner.

All right. Sunday dinner. And you know who else will be here?

Chelsea.

Chelsea.

Chelsea. And guess who else is in town? Natalia and her husband Sam.

So we got a lot of people to have a proper Sunday dinner. Sunday dinner.

Outside Sunday dinner.

Outside Sunday dinner. It’s beautiful weather. Okay.

Perfect. All right. Ralphie, thank you for joining me.

This was epic.

This.

Okay.

Well, Good News Network.

Thank you.

I’m so sorry. You should just end the recording now.

Stop.

No farting.

I think it’s so gross.

I can’t believe how much we shouted out another place. Stop it. Stop.

Stop.

So thank you all for being here.

It’s Going To Be Okay is a group project. So we love when you call and text in your okay things. It’s 502-388-OKAY.

So that’s 502-388-6529. You can also text that number or you can email us. It’s Igtbo at feelingsand.co.

I’m Nora McInerny. This is It’s Going To Be Okay.

This episode was produced by Marcel Malekebu. Our theme music is by Secret Audio. That’s my best friend from college and they have an album out.

You may or may not hear my voice, which will be the worst part of an otherwise great album. It is linked in our episode description on Spotify and Apple Music and today’s guest host is Ralphie. Thank you for being here.

We will see you again soon if you are listening in. But thanks for asking, Feed. You’re going to want to go follow the It’s Going To Be Okay Show.

Eventually, this show will only be over there, I think. I don’t know, guys. You got to just stick with me.

I don’t know.

Look, I’m just doing my best. I’m doing my best.

And if you want to support any of the stuff that we’re doing, we don’t have a Patreon anymore, but we do have.

You know, it does.

It’s Good News Network.

Stop.

But there’s a link in the description to my Substack. That’s where you can get ad-free episodes of the podcast and regular essays, things like that. There’s plenty of there for free too.

I mean, the world’s a tough place. I don’t know. I’m the world’s worst salesperson, but thank you for being here.

Okay, bye.