397. Everyone Looks Dumb Bowling

Nora loves how dorky we all look when bowling because it makes the game more fun.

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Nora: I’m Nora McInerny and it’s going to be okay.  When it’s summer in Phoenix and it’s 110, 115, 100 million degrees out, there’s really just not that much you can do other than go in the pool, stay inside and play video games, or go outside like before the sun comes up or after it goes down. It is basically like being in Minnesota in the winter when it’s 20 below.

Like, you are just kind of going a little bit stir crazy.  But this summer we discovered  the perfect outing, the perfect activity. And I don’t want to say we discovered it. I want to say. we rediscovered it because it never went anywhere and other people were well aware of it. And at different points in my life, so was I.

I’m talking about bowling, baby. I’m talking about bowling. I’m talking about going to the bowling alley, preferably not a fancy new bowling alley that has so many screens everywhere and so much loud music and like their time, they’re paying by the hour, not by the game, which is so odd. I’m talking about the older.

Bowling alleys, the ones that are all named something like, you know, Lariat Lanes, or, which that was R. A. P. Lariat Lanes in Ridgefield, Minnesota. Bowlerama, Bowlmore, I don’t know, just, it’s gotta be like a 1950s through 1970s structure.  It’s gotta have old, rickety lanes. It’s gotta have used bowling balls that for some reason have a lot of chips in them.

It’s The bar should be old. Everything about it should be old  in order for it to be truly enjoyable, in my opinion.  We started going to this bowling alley because for some reason like bowling was like very cheap or even like free for children. Don’t ask me how they made that make financial sense, but they did.

And we started going bowling often and what I love about bowling is that bowling is a great equalizer. You go bowling with an extremely athletic person or an extremely unathletic person, they’re pretty much at the same skill level because bowling is a skill that most people just do not have anymore except for the elderly man.

who was bowling often when we were bowling, who really was good, really was good. Didn’t seem to really want to socialize because he seemed like a very serious bowler. Everyone else, I mean, we were, we were using the, the bumpers. We were using the ramps. One of my kids is, his arm is so small that even the lightest ball, I was afraid was just going to snap his arm in half.

It didn’t, but the ball also moved so slowly that it was like undetectable. by the radar that tells you how fast the ball is moving. Like, they couldn’t even detect the ball moving and it would just sort of like inch up to the pins and maybe topple one over and we would all breathe a sigh of relief because, you know, he got a one.

Why I love bowling is because it is an equalizer for one reason. No one looks cool bowling. No one. Even if you’re really good at bowling, I hate to break it to you. It’s not a cool looking sport. People look cool when they’re running, playing basketball, swimming. I don’t know. It’s really easy to look cool doing most sports.

You can’t look cool bowling. It’s the shoes. It’s the movement, frankly. It’s just something, you’re indoors and bowling. people are, you know, sipping on their beers or sodas and like putting their dirty little fingers in a communal thing of popcorn or fries. No one looks cool bowling. And I think that is the coolest thing about bowling is it allows everybody to be a little silly, a little humbled to get out there and try to do something that is actually incredibly hard.

It looks like it’s going to be easy. You just have to knock down 10 pins. It’s  very difficult.  Very difficult and unnatural way of moving too. I’ve, I,  I’ve never ever replicated that move any other time in my life.  Every time I bowl, I’m grateful for my gym teacher, Mr. Stockinger, who took us to a bowling alley in high school, taught us how to keep score, taught us proper bowling form.

It has not paid off score wise, but it has paid off in me just feeling You know, like, like I really belong there. Like, I could be a professional bowler.  So, look, if you are  bored, if you are, oh, sorry, no.  Okay, one final thing about why I like bowling. No one looks cool bowling. Everyone is pretty much at the same level.

Even if you think you’re good at bowling, you’re just not that good at bowling. And then third, Third is like bowling is still something that you can do casually with a group of people and every time I go bowling you know who’s there? A bunch of teenagers and there’s just kind of nothing for teenagers to do anywhere.

Teenagers aren’t welcome anywhere which is dumb because I think teenagers are great if any of them are listening. There’s always teenagers at the bowling alley because it is like a wholesome activity that they’re allowed to do. So I don’t know, grab your weird stinky shoes, bring some hand sanitizer.

and go bowling. You’re not going to look cool, but you’re going to have so much fun. And  that’s, that’s it. That’s the whole episode guys, is that I think you’re going to have fun if you go bowling,  especially if you’re bad at it. If you’re good at bowling, I do want to know more about you. I want to know how you got good at bowling.

I want to know how you practice bowling, how you train for bowling.