392. I Love Candy Corn

Nora has a controversial opinion: candy corn is her favorite Halloween candy.

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

Nora: I’m Nora McInerny and it’s going to be okay. Even though after you listen to this or watch this, however you’re consuming this, you might think of me a little bit differently because I’m going to talk about something controversial. I’m going to share something about myself, about my preferences, my beliefs, my values, and at least 50 percent of you are going to disagree with me and you’re going to disagree with me passionately and that’s okay.

Because one thing I have learned is that we are all people, okay? Even if we are people who hate candy corn. That’s not me. I’m probably describing you or someone you know. I love candy corn. I love it. I am in my ideal candy era right now. There are a few months of the year when my sweet tooth is fully activated.

It’s candy corn season.  And it’s Cadbury Cream Egg Season, and I know that those two things are very polarizing. I know that there are people out here in the world on God’s green earth slandering both of those items. But especially right now, seasonally, people are saying a lot of things about candy corn.

They’re saying it’s disgusting.  They’re saying it’s gross. They’re saying it has no flavor, uh, or that the flavor is revolting, I’ve heard. I’ve heard that candy corn is, uh, the devil. That’s not true. That’s not true. Um, I’ve heard that candy corn is a garbage candy. That’s absolutely false. Um, candy corn is fantastic.

One, it looks like exactly what you think it will look like. It’s named for exactly what it is. It’s corn. made of candy.  It’s, it looks so much like corn, even though it also doesn’t. I don’t think corn is usually in three colors. It’s been a while since I’ve seen corn kernels, but in my mind, corn kernels are wrong and candy corn is correct.

And maybe the corn that we’re eating is the problem and candy corn is the solution. Maybe if we all normalized candy corn,  I don’t, I don’t know what I’m trying to say. Other than. It is the season where I can walk into a Walgreens and be welcomed with bags upon bags upon bags of my very favorite candy.

Now, should I be eating an entire bag of candy corn in one sitting? Absolutely not. My dentist and my doctor both agree I’ve got to slow it down on the sugar, okay? My blood is, my blood sugar is quite high. I do have Cavities, which is, I don’t know, for some reason, embarrassing for me. But you know what? I’m not gonna, I’m not gonna, I’m not going to.

I’m not going to because life is short. I’m an adult. I like candy corn. I’m putting that out here. I’m being extremely brave. I’m being extremely brave. And I’m standing up for other candy corn lovers out there. I am taking a stand for other people who want to eat candy corn. a bag of candy corn and don’t want to be judged for it.

I’m standing up for people who like will tolerate if you mix it in with peanuts, but we don’t prefer it. We just want our candy corn straight. And I’m not talking about the candy pumpkins.  Everyone knows those are gross. Don’t try to trick me with like a, a fall medley mix of, of, of vegetable shaped  corn syrup.

Don’t try to do that. Don’t try to do that to me. Give me a bag of candy corn and nobody gets hurt. No I promise you, okay, I’m simply a person who wants to eat candy corn. If you think candy corn is bad, um, you’re, you’re wrong.  That’s false. You’ve been fed a lie. You’ve been fed propaganda from people who  simply don’t understand,  uh, what tastes good and what looks good and what is good.

good. So if you don’t like candy corn, it’s not too late to change your mind. It’s not too late to learn, to grow, to evolve as a person, to take a chance on an inexpensive and  really delicious form of candy. And if you’re a person who loves candy corn, you’re welcome. You’re welcome. Um, this was a risky thing for me to put out there into the universe, but I’m willing to do it for us.

for the people who simply want to eat an entire bag of candy corn, even if,  you know, after a handful or two,  I will concede, I do feel bad.  I feel sick. I feel sick. I feel sick. It’s also, I just can’t stop myself. It’s like, if five pieces of candy corn is good, who’s ever eaten five pieces? Get real. If five handfuls of candy corn is good, then the whole bag is even better.

That’s not true. I do need to learn how to pace myself, but I’m Nora McInerny. I was going to wrap this up nicely. I was going to keep it tight, but you know what?  I actually, I, I realized that my love for candy corn is not a joke. It’s something I feel really, really seriously about, and I am going to.  Leave the studio right now.

I’m gonna go to Walgreens, maybe CVS. I don’t know why I always just go to a, it just feels like a drugstore candy to me. Let me get myself a bag of candy corn. It’s fall. It’s candy corn season. We gotta enjoy it while we can. We have to go out and harvest the candy corn right now.  The way to tie this up is to say it’s going to be okay whether or not you like candy corn, but your life will definitely improve  if you like it.

This message was not brought to you by the candy corn industry or lobby groups. This is my own opinion. Nobody paid me to say this, um, but I am open to being compensated for my evangelism. So if you are from Brock’s, if you are from any other, I really only eat Brock’s. It really does have to come from like the brand name.

I’m not eating generic candy corn. Um, reach out. I’m open to it.