390. Imposter Syndrome

Nobody should stop themselves from getting involved or trying to make a difference just because they’ve never done it before. Emily Amick gives us all a pep talk about how to overcome imposter syndrome.

Sami Sage and Emily Amick are authors of the book Democracy In Retrograde: How to Make Changes Big and Small in Our Country and in Our Lives. They are our guest hosts for It’s Going To Be Okay this week.

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

Emily Amick: This is Emily Amick, AKA Emily in your phone, and it’s going to be okay. I’m one of the authors of the recent New York times bestseller, democracy and retrograde how to make changes big and small in our country and in our lives, which I wrote along my friend and coauthor, Sami Sage, who you heard from yesterday, and we’ll be back tomorrow.

As promised, we’re going to talk about.  As promised, today we’re going to talk about how to get over the hurdle of imposter syndrome, which often holds us back from participating in civic or political life, and from believing that we are qualified to solve the issues that we ourselves know best. If you’ve ever found yourself feeling like a fraud, doubting your achievements, or living in constant fear that you’ll be found out, you’re not alone.

Imposter syndrome is super common, especially when we step into roles of leadership or influence.  History shapes our idea of what it means to be a leader, yet the characteristics that many Americans typically associate with leaders of the past, like strong, powerful, loud, male, don’t reflect either A, all the different types of people who are good leaders, or B, the actual qualities that make someone a good leader.

Leadership doesn’t need to mean running for president. It means being a steady individual who can steer the ship to safety, to better shores, or even to a whole new world. Parents use leadership skills every single day to take care of their family’s life, managing healthcare, sports, transportation, schooling, general emotional wellbeing, making schools, schedules, you name it.

Leaders are those who can inspire people to trust and follow them. Imposter phenomenon has consequences that reach far beyond the individual. And nowhere is that more evident than in the arena of political power and participation. It is a major impediment to diversity in political spaces and thus in the resulting policy.

The adversarial and esoteric nature of the discourse, the high financial and emotional costs, the complexity, the bureaucracy, the good old boys club, though. The glass ceiling has more cracks can all intensify feelings of being an imposter. You may feel that you lack the expertise, the eloquence, the credibility to engage in political dialogue, even on matters that directly affect you.

And this is by design to ensure that the American halls of power maintain the spirit of Norman Rockwell scene. The systems that were conceived by the most historically powerful individuals White, straight, wealthy Christian men were carefully designed to be inaccessible to those who don’t fit their values and aesthetic.

They’re incentivized to keep others out to maintain their own power, if not by law, then by norms. If not by norms, than by vibes. Imposter phenomenon is not necessarily your personal failing, but a legitimate feeling that reflects the intended outcomes of institutions that were created to exclude you.

Engaging in civic life or activism inevitably requires speaking out and challenging prevailing norms and power structures. The experience of taking on such a role can be daunting. In practice, this results in women and people from marginalized communities, especially communities of color, being less likely to run for office.

They know they’ll be working twice as hard. for half as much with double the criticism. Lack of surety manifests as a reluctance to participate, not just in running for office, but also in voicing one’s opinions, joining campaigns, or leading grassroots or local movements. We’ve heard countless times that people feel they aren’t knowledgeable enough to be civically engaged, that they don’t have a place at the table, and that getting a seat is about as realistic as getting through the Ticketmaster pre sale.

To that we say, When is,  when is sounding like a completely ignorant moron ever stopped our elected officials? Never. That’s when. Here’s the truth. Your lived experience teaches you what needs to be done in your community, in your life, in your kid’s life, and in your friend’s lives. It’s a disservice to people to assume that they don’t have an instinct about what needs to be changed.

The point of delving down into your personality, which is something we do very deeply in Democracy in Retrograde, isn’t necessarily to figure out what issue you want to work on, but how you want to work on that issue. You’re going to make mistakes, even if you don’t, we promise you will still feel stupid at one point or another, but you just got to move forward with a sprinkle of delusion that your least favorite politician would probably display.

As the internet says, Delulu is the solulu.