378. A Day at the Beach

Kelly called us to share that while grieving her dad, she spent a joyful day at the beach. Playing in the water brought back some wonderful memories of her father.

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My name is Kelly and it’s going to be okay. I will start this off with something that is not okay and that thing is that it was 20 years, the beginning of July this year, that my dad passed away. Now, sometimes anniversaries don’t hit me that hard. Sometimes they just come and go, but this year hit me like a truck.

And it was, it’s been so hard to think of my dad for these past few months. And it’s just been nothing but pain every time I’ve thought of him because it just, the missing aches so much. But today was very much okay. Today, Ty and Oliver and I had a wonderful day at the beach. and it was gloriously windy.

There were waves at the beach like I haven’t seen in years. It brought me back to how I used to jump waves with my dad and, you know, we went swimming and we jumped the waves together and I would hold Oliver and Ty would hold Oliver and I talked about my dad and how we would go to the beach and we would jump in the waves and I smiled while I was doing that and that was probably the first time in months that I have talked about my dad and smiled.

And I guess the okay thing for me is that thinking of him and missing him doesn’t always have to hurt that I can bring him into the present moment with joy and his memory can mix with my family memories and to me that’s just lovely. It is lovely to think of my dad and to tell Oliver about my dad and do so smiling. So, I guess the okay thing is that remembering him and missing him doesn’t always have to be painful.

And there can be moments of joy. And that is my okay thing today.