35. Arizona Goths

An ode to the teenagers who wear black hoodies and jeans in the middle of an Arizona summer.

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

I’m Nora McInerny and it’s going to be okay.

If you’re new here, I live in Phoenix, Arizona. Most of the year I think it’s pretty temperate. Our winters are pleasant. Our springs are warm but not hot-hot, which makes it a place people like to come for Spring Break, or a place where baseball teams come for spring training. I really like our summers, but they’re, ya know, hot. The first year we lived here, there were more than a few days that were 115, 116, 118 degrees Fahrenheit. That’s hot, even if you’re a cold-blooded lizard lady like me. On days like this, most people try to wear as little as possible. They keep the clothing they wear light in color and weight. They keep it easy breezy.

Except for one group of people who I admire and respect possibly more than any other.

I’m talking about the goth teenagers of Phoenix, Arizona and the surrounding areas. The kids who are wearing black jeans even when it’s so hot you could, I think, actually fry an egg on a sidewalk. The kids who wear black hoodies even in July. The kids who do not care about what everyone else is wearing or doing, because they like what they like.

Every time I see one I smile. Not at them, I don’t want to freak them out. I know that I am a middle aged mom in a sensible sedan. I smile because kids like this still exist, and they’re still out here doing their thing even if – maybe even because – it isn’t mainstream. I was a kid a long time ago, in the 90s, and growing up, the kids who dressed in all black, or wore heavy eyeliner and dog collars and JNCO jeans stood out, and not always in a good way. Some people called them goths. Then emo. Maybe another, third thing? Especially in the midwest, where fitting in was our pastime, these kids made it a point to go against the cargo-pants and layered tank-tops grain. And even though I was a little afraid of them because some of the music they like really did scare me, I was also envious of them. I didn’t want to dress like them, and I was afraid that if I listened to Marilyn Manson God would find out and be mad at me, but I wanted to feel that comfortable being whoever I was, even if I was still figuring out who I was.

It is a hard thing to be yourself sometimes, especially when being yourself means standing out. Not everyone likes someone who stands out. Not everyone is comfortable with people who like themselves enough to be different than other people. But being yourself is also a really, really cool thing. So to the Goth kids of Arizona who absolutely do not need my approval and might even scoff at it and to everyone else who is just being themselves in a world that would really rather you not…I salute you. I admire you. You make me feel like it’s going to be okay. 

I’m Nora McInerny and it’s going to be okay. That IT is different every day, as you might be able to tell, and I want to hear your thing. So you can leave us a voicemail at 612.568.4441 or record a voice memo on your phone and attach it to an email…igtbo @feelingsand.co 

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Thanks to Megan Palmer and Claire McInerny for producing this episode.

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