33. An Old Lady With Oatmeal

A 52-year-old woman walks into a coffee shop and experiences a case of mistaken identity. 

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

I’m Nora McInerny, and It’s Going to be Okay. 

A long time ago my older sister said she wished she were more like me because I “do what I want and don’t care what anyone thinks.” I was so confused, had she met me? Would she like to tell that joke to my therapist?

A strange thing about being a person is that we usually see ourselves through our own eyes. I once went to a children’s museum where they had an interactive installation meant to show the difference between how you LITERALLY see yourself vs how you appear to other people. They did this with some kind of mirror…I know I should have been paying more attention and LEARNING and teaching the children I was with what was going on, but I didn’t. What I saw didn’t look like the me I am used to seeing in the mirror or in my mind and it was physically unbearable for me. I pulled back from the installation, walked away, and tried to erase it from my memory. Unsuccessfully, obviously. 

The way we’re seen by others can be disorienting, but it can also be hilarious…heartening…and kind of wonderful. 

Sam: Hi. My name is Sam Rhodes, and I live in Saint Louis, Missouri, And I think it’s going to be okay today because I went to the coffee shop this morning and I ordered a cappuccino and some oatmeal. I was eating the oatmeal and I heard the barista say to the other person behind the bar, “Sam looks like a skater today”. 

Let me just say that one more time. 

“Sam looks like a skater today.” 

I need to tell you that I am a 52 year old woman. I have a full head of white hair, and I don’t look anything like a skater. But I had on a beanie cap and it made me so happy to think that this cool young barista thought that me, this old lady eating oatmeal, looked kind of like a skater today. And maybe I am a skater, maybe a skater inside of my heart. Maybe my outsides match my insides. Maybe they matched my insides just for that one moment, but somebody else saw it and it was pretty great. 

So that is lifting me up today. And the oatmeal was delicious. 

We’re all a great many things, all at once, to so many people. And you never know how someone is seeing you, or what they’re seeing in you. And if your mind tends towards the self-conscious or self-effacing, maybe today just turn the dial a little bit and assume that people are seeing in you a version of yourself that you like, that you just haven’t seen yet.

Imagine that underneath that oatmeal-eating exterior…there’s a skater in your heart.

A brief PSA to let you know that I learned the hard way that skateboarding is harder than it looks and perhaps not for a woman of my height and coordination levels. The skater in my heart will, sadly, only ever exist in my heart.