327. Nate + Amy

Nora’s friend is going through a divorce, and recently asked the universe for a sign that this is the right choice. One night at dinner, Nora witnessed her friend receive that sign. 

The book Nora mentioned in this episode is This American Ex-Wife by Lyz Lenz. 

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

Nora:  I’m Nora McInerny, and it’s going to be okay.

I have a lot of friends and people I love right now who are in transition, who are kind of between  a life that they  had and a life that they thought they would have.  And they’re in this squishy new version of life that is harder to define because it never crossed their imagination.  And one of these friends specifically is going through and has been going through a divorce, a divorce that is mostly  amicable.

So I’m going to try to tell this story in a way that respects the privacy of everyone involved, but also kind of shares the magic of the moment.  This friend is going through a divorce, and is in that phase  of the end of a relationship where you’re like,  Did I make it, you know, did I do the right thing? Was it, should I just have stayed anyways? Did I make it all up?  And they asked specifically for a sign from the universe. And there are people  for whom a sign from the universe feels, um, silly, right? And it’s Neil deGrasse Tyson, who I am.  Quoting, or I am referencing his cameo in the J Lo,  she doesn’t want to call it a music video.

I don’t know what else you would call it, my darling, who was like, Oh my God, people think that. Anyways, Neil deGrasse Tyson had a cameo and he was like giggling over the fact that some people think the universe cares. And you know what? Yeah, some of us do, or some of us at least find comfort in the idea of  asking.

For a sign that we are on the right track, for a sign that we are, you know, not just flailing through the abyss out here.  So my friend asked for this sign. She asked the universe  for a sign. Am I on the right path?  We are. Together, we’re on a trip. We are both out of our element. We have both just read the book This American Ex Wife by Liz Lenz, which is a truly fantastic book.

I cannot recommend it enough, and I’m not even divorced.  we’re talking at what is probably to some people too loud of a volume about that book, about divorce in general, about all the other divorced people that, that we know. And,  uh, you know, there’s, there’s people around us, there’s people around us, but they’re all engrossed in their own books or in their own conversations or in the very, very, very loud music that is playing in every open space  in this establishment and I am now turn the music down years old.

I was born at that age. I should clarify. I’ve just never really liked being overwhelmed with like loud amounts of Jason Derulo. Okay. And I’ll say the man has some hits, but also, could we listen to it at it at a reasonable volume? So we’re talking about divorce. We’re talking about her divorce. 

We’re, we’re talking about so many things. And, you know, hours go by and out of nowhere, seemingly, the woman next to us says,  Hey, I, you know, I don’t want to be weird, but I could, I could hear your conversation. Like, what’s the story? with you. And we are kind of accustomed to people believing that we are together.

So we’re like, Oh, you know, we’re, we’re, we’re together on this trip, but we’re not like together relationship wise. And my friend says,  I got a divorce and,  we’re just on this trip together. We’re friends. And  this woman says,  I overheard you talking.

And I want you to know,  I got divorced eight years ago and I was so scared,  I was so scared,  but the eight years since have been the best years of my life.  You’re gonna be okay.  This is the sign that my friend asked for. This is the sign. It is happening. We get to talking to this lady. Her name, her name is Amy.

Um, she had had a man by her for a while by the pool and then he had disappeared. We were like, where’s that? Where’s that guy? Is that your husband? She’s like, no, no, no, no, no. That’s I’m, I’m with him. He’s not my husband. Um, they’re both divorced. They found each other.  It’s all working out.

His name’s Nate. We spend. 10 minutes in deep conversation with people that we will never ever see again.  And I watched my friend,  I don’t know, like sort of like bloom, come to life, feel reassured in a way that  I apparently had not been able to reassure her in any of our conversations. Because sometimes you really do need a sign from the universe. Sometimes you really do need to hear something from a complete stranger, totally out of context, somebody who has simply been,  you know, not intentionally, but you know, eavesdropping just because of the, the volume of your, your voices being forced to eavesdrop on your conversation.

So my okay thing today is Nate and Amy.  More Amy than Nate, but you know, I think also their names are so cute together. Like Nate and Amy is just like such a cute couple name.  Nate and Amy, mostly Amy again.  way that she did not even know that she was the sign that somebody asked for.

You don’t know, you might be the sign that somebody asked for today. So, Nate and Amy, wherever you are, thank you for giving that gift to my friend.