323. You’re Exactly Where You Need To Be

On paper, Rebecca Sananès had an amazing career. She had the degree she wanted, won awards, and was invited to cool spaces. But she was miserable. So she tried something new, and it was hard. But it was worth it. 

Rebecca Sananès is a podcast producer and writer based in Los Angeles.

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

 Hi, I’m Rebecca Senones and  it’s going to be okay.  I think, I think it’s going to be okay. At least, um, this is what I’ve been telling myself for the past two years or so.  So, uh, for a really long time in my life, I was somebody who really knew what I wanted. I was like very clear on my career path and who I was and what my goals were. 

And  I worked at those goals  like crazy for like 10 years. It’s all I thought about. It was I made decisions. I moved places. I took certain jobs. I let go of certain relationships all in service of this like career that I was so, so, so, so sure about.  And then  One day, I woke up,  and I kind of had all of the things that I thought that I wanted.

Like, I got the degree that I wanted, and I was invited into the sort of, like,  spaces that I thought I needed to be in in order to be worthwhile. And I  was working with the cool people, and I made the money, and I had press. Like, I had all of these things that I thought I wanted and needed. for so long and had worked and sacrificed so much to have  and I Was miserable.

I was so unhappy. I wasn’t really doing the things I want. I wasn’t Expressing myself creatively the way I wanted to I was stressed out all the time. I was getting older and looking around and being like, uh oh, did I miss the dating train? Like, I woke up and all of this certainty that I had  didn’t really get me to the place that I  actually thought I wanted to be, which was happy and fulfilled.

All of these, like, signifiers.  So anyways, I decided I kind of had to pull the emergency brake and be like, okay, what are we doing here? Because I was just exhausted and frustrated and confused.  And when I pulled that emergency brake,  I really had this arrogance where I was like, I’m just gonna, you know, go on to the next thing and everything’s gonna be fine.

And all of a sudden, like, everything fell away. Like, I didn’t  bounce back the way that I thought I was going to. And I didn’t have a cool job title anymore. And that meant that some people that I thought were my friends weren’t really my friends. And. In other words, I had to start figuring out who  I was and what I wanted  that wasn’t tied or contingent on what other people thought of me or these sort of like external things  and that was really painful.

That sucked so much.  That sucked a lot. But what it left a lot of space for was for me to be like, Okay, well, who am I? And what do I actually want? And what actually matters to me? And I got to start operating from this place of curiosity and And I got to start operating from this place of curiosity and  Like genuine want and it eliminated a lot of this fear that I had because all these things that I was gripping on to had already gone away and so it gave me the opportunity to try new things and to fail and be more vulnerable and look at the relationships that I had maybe neglected while I was out hustling and working my little booty off. 

And now I’ve sort of come out of this period a bit, and I’m  happier and I value peace and calm and I hope that I can still be successful and try these things but they’re sort of secondary to all of these other values that I’ve uncovered. So all of this to say if you are in a place in your life where you’re like I don’t know what the fuck that I’m doing  I think you are exactly where you need to be.

Because  being sure of who you are or rather no, being sure of what you’re doing is freaking boring.  It’s boring, it doesn’t leave much room for empathy, curiosity, trying new things. So  one.  It’s definitely going to be okay. You will get out of this period. And two, you will come out so much more interesting, and new. 

So I guess  maybe just appreciate this space that you have where things feel confusing and rocky and you don’t know where you’re going.  Bless people who are curious. Bless the people who don’t have all the answers. Bless people who fall on their face because they tried something. Bless people who are starting over and Want to know more about the people around them and want to reflect on themselves because that’s what makes you a dynamic, special, interesting person.

And wherever you are, whatever you’re going through, I am rooting for you so hard. Like, whatever it is that you want, that you’re gonna come out on the other side of this,  I know it’s gonna be awesome  and you’ll be a more empathetic, interesting person because of it. Hang in there.