317. The Countdown

Some advice for when your child leaves the nest.

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

Nora McInerny: I’m Nora McInerny and it’s going to be OK.

And I’m telling myself that. I’m telling you that. I’m telling my kids that. I’m telling myself that again.

Because every single day since the end of May, we have had a countdown on our fridge. 

It was requested by our youngest kids. 

And it says ____ DAYS OF SOPHIE.

Sophie is their big sister.

And Sophie is leaving for college.

That countdown used to say 97 days. Now that countdown is closer to 40 days. 

And that is just not long enough! That’s just a few weeks!

That’s happening basically right now!

And that is…the plan.

It’s always been the plan, even if it hasn’t always been a given.

Sophie is part of the class of 2024. A group of kids who started high school online, and missed out on that first moment of walking IN to school on the first day of freshman year. I remember wondering if they would EVER go to school in person, let alone be able to gather and throw their caps in the air.

As a parent, you look forward to milestones. Until they arrive! And then you think, wait, what? Now??

Yes, now!

NOW! 

And I mostly do feel happy about this. And also weird about it. But I’m learning from the ways our littles – who really aren’t that little anymore, either, oh my god here comes a spiral – are dealing with it.

Yes, they’re sad. They love their sister. They want her to stay here forever. 

And they asked for that countdown on the fridge because they want to appreciate the time they still have with her. They want to wake up every morning and be AWARE. That even if she won’t watch them play Roblox (honestly who wants to do that), even if she gets annoyed with them when they take the corner spot on the couch, she is theirs. 

And they want to enjoy every day that she is still here.

And so do I. 

And that doesn’t mean that every day is a party. This girl still has to pick up the dog poop in the backyard if she’s listening! But it means that every day we have is a day that matters. And it ALWAYS has, even when the countdown number wasn’t on our fridge. Even when it was so many digits long it would have been annoying to count down for anyone else except Matthew who could do that math in like, ten seconds.

We’re all on some kind of countdown, whether we know it or not.  We can let that freak us out and panic over what we’re losing – or we can let it build our appreciation for what we still have, and what we’re about to gain. Which is a new version of our family, a best case scenario version that still makes me want to cry sometimes. 

Because we are lucky to have had what we had, and to have what we have, and to get what we get. 

The countdown is on. Lucky us.

I’m Nora McInerny, and this is it’s going to be okay. NOT EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY! That’s not true! But something is, and we’re here monday-friday trying to find it.

We have a phone number and email in our show description so you can share your okay things. Remember than airpods are the worst and don’t call us in your airpods or from your car bluetooth! We love you!

This is an independent podcast. We appreciate you keeping us going.

This episode was produced by Claire McInerny and mixed by Amanda Romani. The rest of our team here at Feelings & Co is Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry. Our theme music is by Secret Audio