299. Buy the Disco Ball

Caroline Moss shares her favorite gift she got during her divorce and why it felt more meaningful than anything else she purchased during her grief shopping sprees.

Caroline Moss runs the online community Gee Thanks Just Bought It and shares tips on shopping smarter.

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

Caroline: I’m Caroline Moss, and it’s going to be okay.

 When I moved out of my house last year and into a new space, my friend Catherine sent me a housewarming present in the form of an 8 inch disco ball.  I bought one during the early days of COVID, the card read. It was a very nice addition to my space in an otherwise not super great time.  In early 2023, I was deep in the throes of my own not super great time.

My husband and I decided to lovingly. Amicably. Respectfully. And our marriage. And don’t let the Gwyneth in Gold play of it all fool you. Consciously uncoupling is still pretty sad.  I didn’t know if I wanted to stay in Los Angeles. My family was across the country. Most of my friends were scattered across time zones and state lines and long drives.

But also, I can work from anywhere. So then why did I just rent a house six minutes from where I had been living?  Because the house was great, it had room for the inflatable hot tub, and I wasn’t ready to leave LA, being my answer.  But at the time I was very much like, what the F am I doing? As I continued to just do things like post sales on Instagram and disassociate in my aforementioned inflatable hot tub.

This went on for months. You can listen to this episode of Gee Thanks, Just Bought It, where I told my guest co host Sally all of the things I grief shopped for this time last year.  Packages kept arriving, things I bought myself, thinking they’d be the key to escaping my depression, only to become more depressed when I would inevitably realize that I would not be cured by retail therapy.

Then a square box arrived on a day I wasn’t expecting any deliveries. I read the note from Catherine. I placed the disco ball on my table and begrudgingly opened the blinds, which I kept closed 24 7 because it felt insulting to wake up to a beautiful sunny day when all I wanted was weather to match my misery.

My room immediately lit up and Catherine was right. Zoloft works hard, but light reflections also work hard, and I needed all hands on deck.  So here’s my recommendation.  If you’re sad, buy yourself a disco ball.  If someone you know is sad, buy them a disco ball.  Tell them, set it down near a window. Tell them, for the love of God, open your blinds.

Tell them, move it around until your walls are dancing. It won’t feel this dark forever.