291. Let Future You Figure It Out
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- Show Notes
- Transcript
A meditation for those of you who make yourselves sick with worry just like Nora.
A version of this essay appeared in Nora’s newsletter.
About It's Going to Be OK
If you have anxiety, depression or any sense of the world around you, you know that not *everything* is going to be okay. In fact, many things aren’t okay and never will be!
But instead of falling into the pit of despair, we’re bringing you a little OK for your day. Every weekday, we’ll bring you one okay thing to help you start, end or endure your day with the opposite of a doom scroll.
Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube.
Share your OK thing at 502-388-6529 or by emailing a note or voice memo to [email protected]. Start your message with “I’m (name) and it’s going to be okay.”
“It’s Going To Be OK” is brought to you by The Hartford. The Hartford is a leading insurance provider that connects people and technology for better employee benefits. Learn more at www.thehartford.com/benefits.
The IGTBO team is Nora McInerny, Claire McInerny, Marcel Malekebu, Amanda Romani and Grace Barry.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.
Nora: I am a World Champion Worrier. An all-time great at the unsubtle art of giving all of the fucks, and then some.
The worrying I have done has been thorough: I have explored every nook and cranny of the Worst Case Scenario, searching for new ways to hurt my own feelings and raise my heart rate.
And the worrying I have done has been, mostly, useless.
I have not ever worried myself into a different outcome.
I have never arrived at the Worst Case Scenario and thought, “wow, good thing I already prepared for this by obsessing over it at 3am! I know exactly what to do!”
Last week, someone asked about how to enjoy being married to a husband who is alive without worrying he will die (I’m paraphrasing here).
And you know what?
I’m not the best at it! I make him wear an Apple Watch when he rides his bike because if he gets hit by a car I want to find his corpse as fast as possible!
But I’ve started to think about worrying as an unkindness to my current self, and a form of disrespect to my future self. Why do I insist on forcing Present Me into a future that doesn’t exist yet?
Why do I assume that Future Me is helpless when she has more information than I do? When she’s drawing from all of the experiences and information gathered by my past selves?
My husband WILL die.
Hopefully he has the courtesy to die after I do (ladies first!) but if he insists on slipping by me, well, that’s simply not a problem I can solve for at the moment, outside of making sure our beneficiary information and wills and healthcare directives are up to date.
I can’t worry my way into another outcome in the future. I can (and do) worry myself out of any enjoyment of the present.
I will be there for Future Me when and if the other shoe drops.
In the meantime, must I spoil the ending for her?
Whatever today brings, let today you handle it. And whatever happens tomorrow, or next week, or the month after…let future you figure it out.
A meditation for those of you who make yourselves sick with worry just like Nora.
A version of this essay appeared in Nora’s newsletter.
About It's Going to Be OK
If you have anxiety, depression or any sense of the world around you, you know that not *everything* is going to be okay. In fact, many things aren’t okay and never will be!
But instead of falling into the pit of despair, we’re bringing you a little OK for your day. Every weekday, we’ll bring you one okay thing to help you start, end or endure your day with the opposite of a doom scroll.
Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube.
Share your OK thing at 502-388-6529 or by emailing a note or voice memo to [email protected]. Start your message with “I’m (name) and it’s going to be okay.”
“It’s Going To Be OK” is brought to you by The Hartford. The Hartford is a leading insurance provider that connects people and technology for better employee benefits. Learn more at www.thehartford.com/benefits.
The IGTBO team is Nora McInerny, Claire McInerny, Marcel Malekebu, Amanda Romani and Grace Barry.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.
Nora: I am a World Champion Worrier. An all-time great at the unsubtle art of giving all of the fucks, and then some.
The worrying I have done has been thorough: I have explored every nook and cranny of the Worst Case Scenario, searching for new ways to hurt my own feelings and raise my heart rate.
And the worrying I have done has been, mostly, useless.
I have not ever worried myself into a different outcome.
I have never arrived at the Worst Case Scenario and thought, “wow, good thing I already prepared for this by obsessing over it at 3am! I know exactly what to do!”
Last week, someone asked about how to enjoy being married to a husband who is alive without worrying he will die (I’m paraphrasing here).
And you know what?
I’m not the best at it! I make him wear an Apple Watch when he rides his bike because if he gets hit by a car I want to find his corpse as fast as possible!
But I’ve started to think about worrying as an unkindness to my current self, and a form of disrespect to my future self. Why do I insist on forcing Present Me into a future that doesn’t exist yet?
Why do I assume that Future Me is helpless when she has more information than I do? When she’s drawing from all of the experiences and information gathered by my past selves?
My husband WILL die.
Hopefully he has the courtesy to die after I do (ladies first!) but if he insists on slipping by me, well, that’s simply not a problem I can solve for at the moment, outside of making sure our beneficiary information and wills and healthcare directives are up to date.
I can’t worry my way into another outcome in the future. I can (and do) worry myself out of any enjoyment of the present.
I will be there for Future Me when and if the other shoe drops.
In the meantime, must I spoil the ending for her?
Whatever today brings, let today you handle it. And whatever happens tomorrow, or next week, or the month after…let future you figure it out.
Our Sponsor
The Hartford is a leading insurance provider that’s connecting people and technology for better employee benefits.
Learn more at www.thehartford.com/benefits.
Have a story you want to share?
Share your OK thing at 502-388-6529 or by emailing a note or voice memo to [email protected].
Start your message with:
"I’m (name) and it’s going to be okay."
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