281. When You Think Everyone Hates You

Nora shares some advice for when you feel rage, anger, or insecurity bubble up inside of you.

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

Nora: I’m Nora McInerny, and it’s going to be okay.  One of the great weaknesses of the intranet is that it has a tendency to take really good pieces of wisdom or advice and then remove them from the person who said it or originally came up with the advice. This is how, if you Google quotes of any kind, everything comes up as a Audrey Hepburn, Abraham Lincoln, um, Marilyn Monroe, Wow.

Coco Chanel, or simply The Hobbit. Just the hobbit as if which hobbit by the way, it’s a it’s a species. It’s a species of creature So which which hobbit are we talking about? It’s it’s not the best part of the internet, but that’s what we’re talking about We’re talking about good things. We’re talking about okay things on this podcast, and I’m trying to share an okay thing with you It’s something that I originally saw on TikTok like any person would.

And then, uh, I saw on Instagram,  uh, through my friend Caroline Moss, who runs the account geethanksjustboughtit, it is the kind of advice that probably came originally from, I don’t know, someone’s grandma, or most likely someone’s therapist. Not like grandmas can’t be therapists and not like therapists can’t be grandmas, but I think you know what I mean.

It’s one of those things where you’re like, really? I don’t want to do that. And then when you think about it, you’re like, actually that, that would fix it. So I’m going to read it to you.  If you feel like you hate everyone, eat something.  eat something. How many times in your life have you thought that everything was going wrong and really your blood sugar was just low and you were just hungry?

How many times have I personally  been absolutely hysterical about something that could not matter less and it turned out? I had just, um, Made my breakfast, set it on the counter and walked away. ADHD is a hell of an experience. If you feel like you hate everyone, eat something. Maybe you’ll still hate everybody, but at least your blood sugar will be stable.

If you feel like you hate yourself, have a shower,  have a shower.  The, the number of times. That a shower has been the absolute last thing that I want to do and the first thing that I should have done is higher than I would like to admit, because I’m an adult person. I should have, you know, a baseline level of hygiene, but there’s something about a shower that feels oppressive when you are stressed out, when you are depressed, when you have  a bunch of anxiety coursing through your brain.

When you think you, I’m sorry, you want me to take off all my clothes? You want me to take off all my clothes? You want me to turn, turn a faucet,  stand there, wait for the water to become the exact right temperature, then get in, get wet, and then do a series of other tasks that will cleanse my body and leave me feeling better?

You think I have time for that?  Okay, well it turns out I did have time for that, and you were right. All I needed to do was wash my hair and my face. And I mean the rest of my body too, but the hair and face, really, there’s something about that. Just unlock something. If you feel like you hate yourself, take a shower.

And by the way, you don’t even have to wash your hair. Get a good shower cap, keep your hair dry, but get under the water, feel the rain on your skin. No one else can feel it for you. Only you can let it in. Okay.  If you feel like everyone hates you, go to sleep,  go to sleep, take a nap, go to sleep for the day.

If, if, if it is 6. 30 PM,  go to sleep. That is actually a Caroline Moss special. She is known to just say, this day is over, we are ending it early, and we are going to sleep. Is this possible when you have small children? Uh, other responsibilities? Not always. Not always, of course not. But like all good advice, or all advice in general, I think it’s the best practice to take what you like and leave the rest.

And if possible, write this down on a post it where you can see it every day.  Someday I’ll share with you a picture of my computer monitor which is covered in post its with little things that I need to remember and this is one of them. If you feel like you hate everyone, eat something. If you feel like you hate yourself, take a shower.

If you feel like everyone hates you, call it a day and go to sleep.  That would be especially funny if you’re listening to this. In the morning and it’s like, well, sorry, day’s over.  Sorry, boss. If you have a boss,  you’re just going to have to send them this episode and say, I’m sorry, I’m just having one of those days where it feels like everyone hates me at this podcaster told me I got to go back to bed and your boss will listen to the podcast and say, yeah, that makes sense.

Um, don’t count it as PTO. Just we’ll, we’ll act like this never happened. Uh, and, uh, You know, I’m sure your, your HR department will understand as well. I’m, I’m working on some, uh, I’m, I’m working on it with them. Trust me. Um, don’t trust me. That’s actually not true. But if you did send this to your boss, I would think that’s funny.

And I would want to know about it.  That’s our advice for today. That’s our episode for today. I’m Nora McInerny. It is going to be okay. Even if you hate yourself today, even if you feel like you hate everyone, even if you feel like everyone hates you, they don’t. They don’t most people are just thinking about themselves or they’re just thinking about something completely different a third thing We haven’t even thought of so  go have an okay day today  our team here and it’s going to be okay This is a little independent podcast produced by feelings and co our team is Claire McInerny Grace Barry, Nora McInerny.

That’s me We are related Marcel Malekebu and this episode was mixed by the fantastic Amanda Romani Our theme music is by secret audio