277. Mistakes Were Made

Many of us can be hard on ourselves when we make a mistake. Our inner monologue can be cruel and unusual when we mess up even the smallest things. So today, let’s try and shrug off our mistakes and accept that it’s part of life.

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

Nora: I’m Nora McInerny, and it’s going to be okay.  One of my mother’s many, many catchphrases when I was growing up was to shrug her shoulders, throw up her hands, and say, Huh?  Mistakes were made.  The mistakes in question could and did run the gamut, from forgetting to pick us up from swimming practice in the absolute dead of winter, to booking an international vacation for herself that conflicted with both.

of my older sibling’s college graduation, to me confusing the brake pedal for the gas pedal, or wait, the gas pedal for the brake pedal. That makes more sense. I pressed the wrong pedal and ran a brand new car into the back wall of our garage, which was also the front wall of our basement. It was a tuck under garage. 

So I did not inherit. this trait that my mother has. I hate mistakes, and if they are made, they should not be shrugged off. They should be worn forever as a warm, cozy cloak of shame.  I was, and I thought for a long time that this was a good thing,  a perfectionist.  And then Amanda White of Therapy for Women, a fantastic Instagram account and also therapy practice, said somewhere, I know she said it somewhere, that perfectionism was not about being perfect, but about finding fault easily. 

And I was shocked.  I mean, yeah, I’ve historically been very intolerant of mistakes, but the most intolerant of my own mistakes.  And in the words of Sufjan Stevens. I’ve made a lot of mistakes.  I have been rude, wrong, lazy. I have said and done the wrong thing at the wrong time, and then beat myself up accordingly. 

Here are a few. of my mistakes. When I was launching Bad Moms, which is a novel that I wrote based on the movie that put me into labor with my youngest child, I linked to an anti chafe thigh lube instead of the book. And when I realized it, I flushed with steaming hot cortisol. Hadn’t I double, triple checked?

What’s wrong with me? Now people know that I’m unprofessional and unpolished. And also that in the Arizona heat, my thighs chafe aggressively.  I sent this out in an email to thousands of people and then the inbox filled up with readers who absolutely had noticed the mistake.  And thought it was funny, because it is. 

And I laughed, and then I told my kids and my husband why I was laughing, and then for weeks we laughed about what is now known as the thigh lube incident.  I do hate making mistakes, and I hate making dumb mistakes, which could also be called completely inconsequential mistakes, or mistakes that literally do not matter at all. 

Those are the mistakes that I really take myself to task for, which is fun for nobody and does exactly nothing for the world.  Nobody was mad at me for linking to the thigh lube. And in fact, a lot of people were grateful for it. And if you’re wondering what brand it was, it’s Megababe. It’s Megababe. I’ll link it in the show description. 

People were happy about it because you know what? They also have thighs that they don’t want rubbing together in the heat. They also  are people who have made mistakes.  Can you imagine?  Yeah, of course you can.  The true theme of every reply, every email, was really this. It’s okay.  It’s okay to be a person.

It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to try things and have them not pan out the way you thought they would.  The coming days, even if we have carefully managed our calendars, will bring its own unpredictable mess. We will run late and delete the wrong emails and possibly overdraft our checking accounts or any number of Irritating little things that can easily make us say very unkind things about ourselves or each other  It’s okay  in the long term We are all gonna die and nobody will remember that weird thing you said at the party that one time  Except, of course, if you’re me, and then I will remember it forever.

So don’t be like me. Be like my mom. Shrug it off. Smile.  Spread the good word.  Mistakes were made.  And it was okay.  I’m Nora McInerny. This is It’s Going To Be Okay. Every day we bring you a little okay thing. Something to get you through the day. This is an independent show by Feelings Co. So you rating, reviewing, sharing this show with other people really helps us keep going.

And we love making this show. We also love hearing your okay things and you can email them to us, or you can call them in. We have the email and the phone number in our show description. Our team is myself, Marcel Malikibu, Claire McInerny, and Grace Berry. Our theme music is by Secret Audio. This episode is most likely mixed by Amanda Romani.

Good job, Amanda.