274. Say No, Enjoy Things, Wear Sunscreen- Caroline Moss

This week we are sharing advice for graduates from some of our friends. Today, Caroline Moss from the Gee Thanks Just Bought It podcast shares her advice on how to be a “happy” adult: find humor in everything, find hobbies that you never monetize, and don’t forget to rest. 

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

Caroline Moss: This is Caroline Moss, and it’s going to be okay. 

Congratulations. You’re graduating from high school.  I have some advice for you. It’s incredibly good advice. You will not listen to it because you’re 18 and I’m 36 and a half. So what do I know about anything, especially what it feels like to be 18 and graduating from high school? I’m just an idiot. But oh, well, someone gave me this microphone. 

And. Look, by the way, even if you follow my advice, which is incredibly good advice,  you’re never going to feel like you know what you’re doing.  Well, okay. Actually, that’s not true. You very mel what?  Well, okay. Actually, that’s not true. You very well might. But it will come in fits and starts, usually out of nowhere, like in the middle of a work presentation or when you and your partner have some sort of breakthrough on like the same argument you’ve been having for the last five years.

It’s like something about a wet towel on the floor, something about a pile of books and papers on the kitchen table. You’ll just feel this rush of confidence. And then the next day you’ll forget your umbrella in the trunk of your car, even though.  You check the weather that morning and there was a 100 percent chance of rain.

Or you’ll get a ticket for parking in a spot that, like, very clearly says no parking on Tuesday mornings because you could have sworn it was Wednesday. And that is a 65 mistake.  You’re gonna wake up at 30 and be disappointed that you still don’t know what you’re doing.  You’re gonna wake up at 40 and you might be excited to find out you still don’t.

And ditto when you turn 50, ditto till the day you die. You know, I’m assuming cause I’m hopefully not there yet myself.  So here’s my best advice.  When something is funny, laugh, find humor every day. Don’t shy away from laughing at yourself when things go sideways. It’s a great stress reliever. It keeps things in perspective. 

When something is sad, cry.  Once you eradicate the idea that crying is weak or bad and should be stopped as soon as you start, you will unlock an entire new level of the human experience.  Cultivate hobbies that make you happy and then do not try to monetize them. You’re gonna hear a lot of people tell you to do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.

These people are lying to you. Capitalism is a non stop grind. If you can’t divest from it, then you can’t completely and 100 percent of people cannot find things that make you happy, hobbies that you enjoy, and then do them when you can, even if you’re bad at them, especially if you’re bad at them, do not collect a dime from these hobbies and don’t even daydream about it.

Just enjoy doing something for the sake of enjoying it. It’s actually way harder than it sounds.  When you land your first job out of college, make sure you use all of your sick days, all of your vacation days, and all of your mental health days every single year. You do not win points for not using them.

Your boss is not your family. P. S. Your work computer does not offer you privacy, even if you’re using it to email on your personal email. Do not be stupid about that.  Travel. If you can, and if you like to, explore new places. Travel is a fantastic way to break the monotony and gain new, joyful experiences.

If you’re not much of a traveler, and some people aren’t, and that’s absolutely fine, then read books, as many as you can, on as many topics as you can. It’s basically the same thing.  Say yes more. Be open to spontaneous adventures and new experiences. They will lead to unexpected joy and amazing memories. 

Say no more. No is a complete sentence. You’re allowed to say no. Let yourself say no.  Care about other people,  especially if they don’t look like you, think like you, or live like you. Dig deep  to find your shared humanity with these people, and your heart will never harden.  It is something you have to practice.

I really hope you do. As you move through the world, it will be very easy to identify the people who have stopped practicing this, or perhaps never started.  Don’t care about what other people think of you.  It’s none of your business. 

That’s it. Most of this advice, well, okay, all of it can’t be learned or  achieved fully overnight.  You have to practice and remember  on a near daily basis. And you won’t, and that’s okay. In 18 years, you’ll be doling this advice out yourself as if you had been. No one will be able to tell the difference. I truly promise.

Also, and I didn’t understand it then, but now I can’t stress it enough. Wear sunscreen.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, Google it.