27. The Scorp Report

Something that inspires Nora is talking to someone who has a very specific and deep passion. For example, the excitement her son Ralph feels about scorpions. 

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

I’m Nora McInerny and it’s going to be okay.

At the end of the week, our kids are supposed to clean out their backpacks. They don’t always do this, of course, and so periodically my husband and I will double check to make sure there isn’t a rotting piece of fruit turning into wine in there, or to make sure we haven’t missed a permission slip, or just to make sure they aren’t accidentally carrying around an extra ten pounds that could be in the recycling bin.

The added benefit is that we end up seeing schoolwork that we wouldn’t normally see. Most of their schoolwork is on a computer, which I despise for a lot of reasons. Unless I log into whatever portal, or specifically ask to see an assignment, I won’t. And our kids at least don’t want to get into the specifics of what they’re doing at school, which I don’t blame them for because as an adult I dread being asked what I do for work. I don’t want to talk about work outside of work! 

On a recent backpack cleanout, I found an actual piece of paper with actual work on it. A little report he didn’t mention to me at all, but that he obviously worked very hard on because he typed it up, printed it and put it in a little see through sleeve so it wouldn’t get wrinkled.

Ralph: I wrote this report for a class project.

Nora: What’s the assignment?

Ralph: My assignment was to make a article on I’m pretty sure there were five choices. Or four. There’s an anaconda. There was scorpion and dolphin and Penguin. So, yeah, four. I chose the scorpion because I like bugs. And I really want a scorpion. Like Dad’s scaredy cat. Scaredy cat.

Most people are actually scared of scorpions, including my husband, who Ralph described as a scaredy cat. 

The most interesting people I know are interesting because they are interested in what interests them, and they pursue that even when everyone around them says, ick, why would you like that, it’s gross! And sharing that interest with the world is such a cool thing. I love that the world is filled with people who have interests that I could never discover on my own, or would never fall down into a rabbit hole after. 

Ralph: Scorpions by Ralph. Do you like scorpions? Read this, then Learn facts. Like. Like expelled. Like scorpions aren’t insects. You’ll learn about their habitat and diet and some facts before we meet you. Here are some need to know facts about scorpions. Do you know that they are not insects? They’re actually arachnids. Like spiders. There are 1700 types of scorpions. Like the emperor. Scorpion. Bark. Scorpion. Scorpion. I, i, i. That was an accident. It also it to bark. Scorpion. Scorpion. And then to Carlos Das Stalker Scorpion. Brazilian scorpion. Devil. Scorpion. Certain kinds of certain Certain kinds have certain venom. Some can make you swell sweat, some have heart failure, charisma. And I can’t say arrhythmia.

Nora: Arrhythmia.

Ralph: Arrhythmia, heart and unconsciousness like. And can sometimes lead to certain death. And then there’s a picture of a scorpion that you can see under a black light. And it’s bioluminescent picture. Now that you know some facts here, some facts on their diet, they can eat one insect per year. They eat snails and slugs and different types of insects like isopods and other scorpions. And isopod is like a roly poly, only it doesn’t roll up an ant shell, but a roly poly as part of the isopod family. So it will some so basically some isopods do roll up, but most don’t last but definitely not least, their habitat where they live. They have lived everywhere before. Dinos in the article it said they live everywhere but Antarctica and Greenland. They are the most common plains and deserts. No, not the planes like a. Really, though, that’d be creepy. Imagine just seeing a giant scorpion in your seat, just seeing the seats taken. Like, I mean, like, imagine that. So, like, close your eyes, and then. Then you’re on a plane. Then you see. Then you see, like, some scorpions in the aisle. You’re like, Oh, let’s go. It’s like. It’s just like a straight way. I love when this happens on a plane. Like you’re going to run, but you can’t run. You have to speed walk. But then, like, you hear a crunch and everybody looks at you like you just killed an innocent man. And then you go to your seat thinking, Oh, God, what did I kill? And then you sit on another thing and you’re like, Oh, my God. Oh, okay. I hope you learned a truck ton about scorpions and their habitat and diet and some facts to, like certain venom can have a certain effect. Certain death

Whatever your scorpion is, I hope you find it, and I hope you tell the world about it. 

Ralph: That’s all, folks.

I’m Nora McInerny and it’s going to be okay. That IT changes everyday, and we want to hear yours. What small thing is keeping you going today? What little thing makes the world feel like it’s not the absolute worst? Tell us. You can record a voice memo and email it to us – our email is in the show notes. You can ask me to read out loud an email you wrote. YOu can call us at 612.568.4441. 

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Our team is Marcel Malekebu, Megan Palmer, Claire McInerny, Jordan Turgeon, Larissa Witcher and Eugene Kidd.  Our theme music is by Secret Audio.