265. Boys Night

Being a parent to little kids is tough. Today we hear from a Dad who figured out how to reframe a difficult part of parenting into something fun.

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

I’m Nora McInerny, and It’s Going To Be Okay. 

This show is a group project, and today’s we hear from Davin, who sent us this email:

For most of my time as a parent I have felt less than great at mostly everything involved with “dadding”. A feeling I am learning, as I have started to open up to family and friends around me, is not exclusive to my experience.  I work a rotating schedule for work where I mostly do one month on an early morning shift and the next on an overnight. On the nights I get sleep when two toddlers will allow, if you know you know, and I try to help around the house in between naps, sometimes I get to help with the bedtime routine. On the days I am home as normal and I get to be more of a part of their daily routine. A few months ago my better half started a part time job on the campus she that attends classes, so 4 nights out of the week it’s just us for dinner and bed time. In the beginning this was rough. Both of the boys have always been more attached to their mother, they didn’t take bottles well, they hardly wanted to be around me something I struggled with alot early on. Seeing her leave would upset them, and I was lucky some nights if I got them both to sleep before she got home. One of these nights a few weeks in and in a state of sleep deprivation or desperation or both. I looked both of them in the face and yelled out, “Boys Night!!”, in what I hope was a half decent impression from a show I have listened to for years. They stopped, and my oldest looks at me and asked what it meant. I said it means you and me and the little guy get to spend all night having fun, just us, it’s like a party. He paused for a minute and then without warning yelled out “Boys Night!”, with the enthusiasm only a 3 year old can possess. This gave me what was probably the first solid laugh I had in days. And as the weeks and months went by we got in a few more good nights. This week at work has been beyond exhausting and its hard to have the energy with both of them. Last night about an hour into them running around like crazy people, and me struggling to keep up, my oldest stopped an said, “dad, I love boys night.” With a big crazy smile, again something only a 3 year old has the energy to pull off. As I come up on my last week of boys nights, I’m doing my best to absorb these moments. I want to take them with me, those moments when they look at me with so much happiness and I think maybe I’m doing this right. When I’m stressed out of my mind about not seeing them enough, or making the wrong choice for them, or thinking they will only inherit all my worst qualities. I will pull these moments out to try to remind myself just to breath, it’s going to be ok.