256. Jennifer Weiner To The Rescue

When Nora was a first-time author, she attended a big publishing party that caused a lot of anxiety. But at one point in the party, Nora saw a familiar (to her) face that put her at ease.

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

Today I’m going to tell you a story:

When my first book was coming out, the publisher sent me to a big publishing event. A very big one. It was in a convention center in Chicago, and I went…alone. I was supposed to go to the publisher’s booth and introduce myself and be told where to go and what to do but you have to understand that it’s hard for me to go to things like this. Yes, I went to TED and I gave a whole talk but I also had a panic attack and sobbed alone facing the water in THAT convention center because the building was ROUND and in a ROUND BUILDING it is hard to find a corner to cry in.

But back to this convention center. This was my first book, and the publisher had big, important authors to deal with and honestly, this is not a slam on anyone: I know what it’s like to be a part of a big organization with a million moving parts but I basically spent the day wandering around alone and dreading when people would ask me why I was there because then I’d have to try to describe my book and if you’ve ever had the displeasure of hearing me describe my work you know that there is not elevator pitch unless the elevator we’re referring to is the one from Willy Wonka, and in that case, hold on tight because your four grandparents are in bed together hoping for a miracle.

Anyway! After a day of that, I was set to go to a party hosted by another big company on the roof of a hotel. When I agreed to go to this party I did not know I was going alone, or I would not have agreed to go. Except that this was my first book and from the beginning of this career I have always treated everything I do as through it is my last. This could be my last podcast episode! It’s not, but it could be who knows! That could have been the last time I was ever invited to a publishing event! That could have been my last book! So I went to the party and as soon as I walked in I regretted it. There were people. And they all knew each other. And I did not know anyone and nobody looked like they wanted to know me and so I just kept talking to the servers who were passing hors deorves and at one point…I PICKED UP A TRAY JUST TO HAVE SOMETHING TO DO. And then a server noticed and was like don’t do that so I set it down and tried to disappear and then! On the terrace! I noticed Jennifer Weiner. THE Jennifer Weiner. Master of the novel. In her Shoes. Good in bed. The summer place. I could go on. She was standing with a group of people and I don’t know what came over me but I walked up to her and I said hi, Jennifer, my first book is about to come out and I’m here alone and I don’t have nayone to talk to could I just stand by you? And she said, absolutely not you loser. JUST KIDDING! THE OPPOSITE! She looked at me like I was her long-lost friend and said OF COURSE YOU CAN STAND WITH US! And then she stood with us, and we talked, and she told me to send her my book and all of the cortisol that was coursing through my veins dissolved and I got through the rest of that party – a whole ten minutes, max, and went back to my hotel and fell asleep.

I think of this story a few times a year, whenever I’m at a big social event (which is rare). I try to keep my eye open for anyone who might need a person to stand with, anyone who feels like they should disappear into the wallpaper, and give them what Jennifer Weiner gave me: a place to stand and feel okay.

CREDITS.

Feelings & Co – where all your feelings are welcome.