22. Little Moments Of Intimacy

Sometimes you get stuck behind a bunch of bros at a concert, and it ruins your experience. But at a War on Drugs concert in 2021, Nora stood behind the sweetest group of bros. 

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

I would have been a great anthropologist, if that’s even still a job? By the time I was in college I was worried that I couldn’t be anything because everything had already been done. It was already the 21st century. There was nothing left to discover. Nothing left to invent. I was, at the time, using calling cards to make long-distance calls and accessing the internet via ethernet so obviously, I have incredible instincts. 

There is always more to discover about our world, but what brings me a lot of comfort is observing small moments of humanity, moments that are so ordinary that the people at the center of these moments might not even realize how special they are. 

The year was 2021, and my husband and I were in Los Angeles to see one of his favorite bands…The War on Drugs, or as my youngest kids call it, Dad Rock. Matthew loves this band. I love this band. I don’t love going to shows because I like to be in bed and in a REM cycle before most bands even go on stage, but I went with him because it had been over a year since we’d been to a show, and much longer since we’d been anywhere just the two of us. 

I was not ready for how wonderful it would feel to walk into a theater again, or for how excited everyone in the theater was to be there, and to be with a group of strangers. I am tall, and I am used to standing at the very back of any show because people get so mad at tall people! Especially tall women! I’m not trying to block your view, if I’m ever at a show and I’m in front of you and you can’t see, I will switch with you, gladly. 

So this show is seated, which is my favorite kind, because I can look around and really focus in on my fellow concert goers. There were lots of couples holding hands, which was sweet. There was a pack of women around my age dressed to absolutely kill, and I wanted to shower them all with compliments. And right ahead of us – there was a group of guy friends who were so excited to be together. I was eavesdropping, which I always do, and they had known each other since college and they don’t get together often and they’d been planning this for months and I spent the entire show watching them watch the music, and sing to each other, and throw them arms around each other. 

At one point, when the band played one of their faster songs, everyone stood up. It’s the kind of song where you just want to get in an old pick-up truck and drive as fast as you can within reason, or shimmy a little, it just begs you to move. I didn’t really stand up because I didn’t want to block anyone’s view and also my legs were tired but one of the taller friends noticed that the shortest of their friends was behind a tall person, and he tapped him and they switched spots. It was such a small thing – making sure his friend could see – but so caring, and so tender, and Matthew saw me see it and said “oh God you’re going to cry about that aren’t you” and yeah, I was. 

Because when the world feels really bad and scary and horrible those little moments of intimacy and sweetness really are such a comfort. Having a friend who knows that you can’t see and wants you to be able to fully observe the band you love? That’s a big, small thing. Watching a small act of love between two strangers who are just trying to have a good time and don’t know there’s a creepy woman behind them watching them??? That’s a pretty okay thing to me.

Credits:

I’m Nora McInerny, and it’s going to be okay. The IT changes everyday, and it’s different for all of us. I want to hear your okay thing. You can call or email us at 612.568.4441 

It’s Going To Be Okay is a production of feelings & co. Today’s episode was written and recorded by Nora McInerny at McInerny Studios. Our team is Megan Palmer, Marcel Malekbu, Jordan Turgeon, Claire McInerny, Larissa Witcher and Eugenne Kidd.