188. Serenity Shelf

Leslie Cohn (from the “Loved and Cherished” episode of our sister show Terrible, Thanks for Asking) wrote in to talk about her Okay thing — supporting each other when we get knocked off of our “serenity shelf.”

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

INTRO MUSIC

Leslie Cohn: This doesn’t seem the crowd whose life comes to a screeching halt merely because they can’t get a manicure appointment at the exact time they want it.

This IGTBO and TTFA Tribe are all incredible deep thought thinkers and feelers and genuine beauty creators. 

Every being is attempting to keep their head above water and see a ray of okay.  

One thing. One teeny tiny itsy bitsy okay thing is okay. Ok is ok. Even not 100% okay is ok.  

Maybe when you say you are okay you are 0 to 3 on the 1 to 10 scale. Maybe higher? 

It depends on your pain threshold. 

We are all individuals, and that 1-10 scale is your own which is then filtered and processed in different ways by the party asking “ How are you?” .  

(To be honest, I feel “How are you?” is often way too much pressure. Among friends I ask, “How is your moment?” 

because let’s meet where we are right now and go from there.)  

Back to parties…  and supportive parties – professional or personal.

Maybe you have a hand to hold. If there isn’t a hand to hold, maybe there is a tiny paw. Or a teeny tiny paw. Maybe there is only a beautiful yet gutwrenching memory of both and you have to hold your own sweet paw or hand. Maybe “cute paws” are the two words you often type into your internet search engine.

I see you. I bear witness.

We all face so many different challenges.  It is always allowable for everyone to have “moments”. 

Countless quicksand moments or the feeling you are going to melt into a puddle in the middle of a market and no one will slip and fall because you are invisible to the earthlings moving around you. 

These low craptastic times when we are already in agony and doing our best and not catching a break (or cutting ourselves some slack).  When all the tools in the box seem broken and the new ones you research aren’t bringing levity either.  

All the amounts of effort for anything on this earth in this lifetime in these experiences we are all sharing or connecting with and through and about are worthy of note. 

We all keep attempting in our own individual ways to have some peace and sit on our serenity shelves for a while.

It’s ok to fall off, and there is no shame in losing your grip as you climb back up. 

Separately and together we all have our moments off and on that shelf. 

If I live nearby, and you need a boost. I’ll clasp my hands for your little sock feet and spot you until you’re safe. We’ll work at your pace.  No rush.  No pushing.  No shoving.  No straining. Just when you’re ready and not a moment before.

In the time being, we can be still, or dance, or eat something or not, or improvise songs, or spin the situation until we laugh so hard we are doing ab work, the other kind of tears are streaming down our faces and we have to pee.

A couple of weeks ago a beautiful friend remarked she was knocked off her “Serenity Shelf” during her 2nd to last chemo treatment (for her cancer recurrence).  She was having it rough and questioning completing the series and there just wasn’t enough Pema Chodron or Ativan to make her moment lighter. 

We know some things can’t be fixed.  We know this.  We listen. We ride the wave. We cry.  

We hold each other.  We hold each other in a way geography will allow.  

And sometimes, in the moment, the only thing you and a little dog can do is sing to the ones you love the most.

OUTRO MUSIC

CREDITS