177. Good, Better, Best

Nora unpacks the psychological warfare we inflict upon ourselves when we try to be *the best*. This episode references the chapter Good, Better, Best from Nora’s latest book Bad Vibes Only.

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

Nora: I’m Nora McInerny, and this is It’s Going to Be Okay.  If you read my book, Bad Vibes Only, you already know which inspirational classroom poster has haunted me since the earliest days of the Gifted and Talented, or as we called it at my Catholic school, Annunciation, SOAR program.  The poster read, Good, Better, Best.

Never let it rest. Tell your good is your better, and your better is your best.  Now. Look, I get what this sentiment is meant to convey. Don’t give up, because sometimes things are hard and you simply have to keep trying until you can correctly identify a rhombus, which any adult will tell you is the single most important part of being a productive member of society.

Can you identify a rhombus or are you an imbecile who thinks it’s just a slanted square?  But that poem, that poster, how did my little child brain interpret it?  How does your little adult brain interpret it?  Something like, good, better, best. You haven’t earned your rest. You have to get better. You have to be the best.

Was  that a scary voice?  But if a lifetime of Most Improved Awards have taught me anything, it’s that actually we don’t need to be the best.  No, we don’t need to be, and we probably won’t be.  There are only so many LeBron Jameses or Taylor Swifts in the world. There are only so many number one spots to fill.

And I, for one, was exhausted after attending the heiress tour. Just standing for those three hours was too much for me.  Now, at the very beginning of the pandemic, when the most delusional people among us were posting things like, If you don’t come out of lockdown with abs, a screenplay, and a whole new outlook on life, you don’t deserve to live.

I  said the opposite. I told the people in my life and in my house, lower the bar.  Take a chill pill. Okay is okay. And C’s get degrees, which is something I absolutely didn’t believe when I was in college, even though plenty of my contemporaries were living evidence.  Like Taylor Swift, I have never been a natural. 

And while I am doomed to forever try, try, try, I am not doomed to forever strive for perfection.  The try is good enough.  Showing up is good enough. Good enough is good enough.  So if you are tired or  simply happy with where you are in life,  I offer you this modification of that stupid poem we started with, which is also, I’ve heard, the most shared line in Bad Vibes Only. 

Good, better, best.  Give it a rest.  Your good is probably fine.  You don’t need to be the best.  I’m working on believing that myself. 

I’m Nora McInerny. This has been It’s Going To Be Okay. This podcast is a group project where every day, even though we know so many things aren’t okay, we bring you a small thing, an okay thing, so you can start or end your day with the opposite of a doomscroll.  It’s Going To Be Okay is an independent podcast, so you being here, You sharing, rating, reviewing, all that stuff is so helpful and we are so grateful, so thank you. 

It’s Going To Be Okay is a production of Feelings Co. Literally the only place in the world you’re allowed to have a feeling. Our team is Marcel Malekebu, Claire McInerny, Megan Palmer, Michelle Plantan, and Grace Barry. This episode was produced by Claire McInerny  and mixed by Amanda Romani. Our theme music is by Secret Audio.