158. A Disappointing Christmas

Parenting a child with a disability can be challenging. But our listener Ashley shares a story about how some days it’s also really, really funny. 

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

Ashley:  Hi Nora and team. My name is Ashley. And I wanted to tell you about something that makes me feel like you know it’s gonna be okay. My son Nate, is eight years old and he was diagnosed with autism with a P D A or pathological demand avoidance profile a couple years ago now, and. I find it challenging a lot of the time.

I think as any disability parent will tell you as any autism parent will tell you, it can be. It can be tricky and it can be hard. And I also have three other children and I. It’s a lot. And this past year my husband was deployed for six months and so he was gone over Christmas. And Christmas is really hard for Nate.

He struggles with the change in his routine. He struggles with, the expectations or. The disappointments of Christmas. And we had worked with his behavioral consultant and we’d made a plan, and he had a list and he knew exactly what he was getting and he felt very good about that.

And I was like, okay. I worked so hard to make it happen. And I’m sitting there thinking oh man, oh, this is so tough, whatever. And it goes off okay. And I’m lying down later in the day just thinking oh my gosh, is this what Nate’s gonna always have to do? Or things always gonna be so tricky for him, as I think any disability parent will tell you.

You can go down this path sometimes of. How do we keep doing this? How do we keep going? How do we help our kids to have as independent a life as they can, as full a life as they can? And you worry and you worry. And I’m lying there worrying as I’m want to do. And Nate walks into my room and I said, hi buddy, how’s it going?

And he goes I’m disappointed and. I laugh because he explained he was disappointed that, he had asked for one kind of gift card and he got a different kind of gift. Oh no. He had asked for a kind of gift card and that was the one he got. But then after his brother got something else, he wanted that instead.

You said so I’m disappointed. And he explain. He said, but it’s okay, mom. And I thought to myself I think it’s gonna be okay because this kid is comfortable enough to walk in on Christmas Day and announce his great disappointment with something, but also to say, it’s okay. It’s all right.

It’s gonna be okay. And Every time I wander down that path, or I think about that, I think of his little face in my doorway going I’m disappointed. And with just that joy and attitude, all the wonderful things that kids have, and I think, yeah. All right. It’s gonna be okay. Thank you for this podcast.

I am loving starting my day without the doom Scroll by.

Nora McInerny:  I also love that you’re starting your day without the doom scroll. Let us replace your doom scroll.  If you like this podcast and you wanna share it with somebody who needs it, somebody you could use an okay thing.

Somebody who should stop scrolling and maybe just start listening to a little thing in the mornings. Do that. You can. Click the share button in your podcast app and share it, text it to someone. I don’t know. You can also send us an okay thing. You can email us a voice memo like Ashley did. You can type out an email that I can read.

You can also call us at (612) 568-4441. It’s going to be okay as a production of Feelings and Co. And you can find all our podcasts including. Our S, and it’s going to be okay as a production of Feelings and Co. And you can find all of our podcasts and our [email protected]. The team is myself, Marcel Malekebu, Claire McInerny, Megan Palmer Michelle Plantan and Grace Barry.

Our theme music is by Secret Audio. This was recorded in my closet.