132. Afternoons with Massa

Nora takes us along as she visits her 94-year-old friend Massa.

Transcripts may not appear in their final version and are subject to change.

Nora:  I’m Nora McInerny, and it’s going to be okay. I am a big fan of friendships, particularly intergenerational friendships. I believe we have a lot to learn from everyone, but especially from people who have lived longer than us, and people who have not lived as long of us, but who have lived in a different era than when we were their age.

And as fun as it is to call something Millennial Cringe or to say OK Boomer or to deride Gen Z for being whatever it is other generations think that they are, we really do all have more in common than we think we do. 

One of my friends is 94 years old. He’s pretty sure, at least. 

Massa: So how are you feeling? 

Nora: I’m feeling good. I haven’t seen you for a longish time. I know, it’s been eight days. It’s been eight days

You look so nice today. 

Massa: Well, I thought I put some good clothes on. 

Nora: You look good. I feel like I should’ve, I feel like I should’ve tried harder. I, uh. 

Nora: That’s me at Masa’s house.

He lives a few miles from me in a beautiful home set into the side of a hill overlooking his neighborhood in Phoenix. Whenever I arrive, he’s always sitting in his chair, staring out one of the giant picture windows that he probably installed himself decades ago, and listening to classical music.

Usually his cat Millie is curled up nearby.

Massa: I was just saying, Christmas time I’ll, I just had my walking program. Oh good, okay. So Christmas time I should be walking like. Good, okay. What’s the program? Should we be doing it?

Nora: Masa can’t see very well, and he can’t hear very well either. And he’s talking to me about practicing his walking, so that we can go on walks around the neighborhood sometime when it’s not 115 degrees outside. And some, and someday, hopefully, we will do that, but for now, we just talk. For hours. Masa is Finnish.

That’s where he lived, that’s where he grew up. That’s where he was born, that’s where he grew up, and he’s lived in Phoenix for, he thinks, about 50 years. He’s been a salesman, an optician, a real estate guy, a carpenter. He’s hitchhiked across Canada, possibly twice. We cover a lot of ground in our conversations.

Massa: So. Where did we leave last?

Nora: Where did we leave off? We left off so many places ’cause Oh, I asked you to think of before we left. I asked you like, what are happy memories that you like when you think about like, happy times in your life, what are some of those memories?

Massa: I think most of them are hard work. 

Nora: Yeah? Yeah. You like work? 

Massa: Yeah. No, it’s just work. Yeah? Yeah. What about work? Well, I was a real estate salesman for 50 years. Maybe 60.

Nora: Sometimes we look through old photos of his, or… I look through the photos and he tries to look at them. 

Nora: Are these pictures of your house? 

Massa: I think it was that. Let me see. I think that’s, that’s Australia. 

Nora: No, that’s your house, that’s your steps. Right?

Massa: I think it’s still, it’s Australia. Who are those guys?

Nora: I go to see Masa once a week, or I try to, and for an hour or two, there aren’t any emails to answer, and there aren’t any errands to run. There’s nothing to do but talk about his 94 years on the planet, about making plans for a walker on the block.

Our time together makes me think about how long and how short life is. Massa has forgotten more of his life than he will ever be able to tell me, and he also remembers everything I’ve ever told him about myself, and I’m always discovering new things about him. 

Nora: Do you want me to get that? 

Massa: No, I don’t answer that. Oh, that’s when we don’t answer. Okay, okay, we’ll let it ring. All I answer is my cell. 

Massa: That’s my original business phone from 1950. 

Nora: Yeah, so who knows who’s calling. 

Massa: Well, it’s still in the business. I’m still running it. Business. 

Nora: You are? Yes. What business? 

At this point, he’s handing me a brochure for, and this is the most Finnish thing I’ve ever heard, his sauna business.

Nora: Wow!

Massa: That’s what, yeah, I used to, uh.

Nora: Okay. So you started this, are you still working? No, 

MassaI didn’t. I didn’t, but I started actually in here, in the United States. Okay. I’ve been, I built my first sauna for, it’s kind of, it’s, it’s a long story. 

Nora: It is kind of a long story, but I’m here to hear it, over and over and over again. But I’m here to hear it, and I’m lucky to hear it too. 

I’m Nora McInerny, and it’s going to be okay. We love to hear your stories and share your okay things, so you can send them to us. You can record a voice memo or just send a regular ol email to igtbo at feelingsand.

co. We’re an independent podcast, so you listening, sharing, rating, reviewing, whatever you do, it all helps. We are a production of Feelings Co., which is literally the only place on earth you can find feelings. You can find all of our podcasts and our very good store at feelingsand. co. Our team is me, Megan Palmer, Claire McInerny, Marcel Malikibu, and Michelle Plantan and Jordan Turgeon, and our theme music is by Secret Audio.